Wyvern

Wyvern immediately hops over to CheerMynx's position and kneels down to make sure that the cheerline is OK, gently nudging her shoulder to check if she's in any pain and going a bit google-eyed as his nudges misplace a few of the leaves on the Almost Intern's outfit. The overgrown lizard slurps the drool from his scaly chin and snaps to as he watches Snuffles dash off, however, suddenly realizing what he must do to prove his manhood to CheerMynx. He bet that Jimmy Dolsen had never managed to save CheerMynx's vision... and Jimmy didn't even have to worry about things like the financial stabilitiy of Almost Report damage control. "Wait Ssssnuffles, come back!" Wyvern pounces forward, only to curse and stumble as he finds his feet once again tied by Wiggly Cabbage vines. The reptilian reporter glances around at the surrounding cabbages, over at the distant Snuffles, and down at CheerMynx. He grits his teeth and lets out a hiss of desperation, spreading his wings and hopping in the direction of Snuffles with so much fervor that he ends up dragging along several Wiggly Cabbages with him. "Sssssnuuuufffflllllessssssss!" Wyvern hops past the flaming finger hibiscus and carniverous marshmellow shrubs of the greenhouse with reckless abandon, looking something like a scaled jester stuck in a Wiggly Cabbage potato sack race. He grits his teeth and squints as he catches a final sight of Snuffles scooting through a greenhouse pet exit just large enough for a kitten, and scrunches his snout in disappointment as he watches the minion go. Wyvern maneuvers past a low-hanging long-leaf slug race track and a patch of poison ivy, stopping as he reaches the glass wall where the kitten exit is located. He presses his snout to the glass, then calls out: "I'm offering a 20% raise in toy miccce! And a catnip bonusss by the end of the year!" Wyvern bites his lip as he squints for any sign of Snuffles, then sniffles and clears his throat before turning and hopping back in the direction he came, half-pulled by the tugging vines of the Wiggly Cabbages. The overgrown lizard rubs a claw over his chest as he approaches CheerMynx's area, getting it tangled in his scale-net vest and breathing a hiss of frustration. He coughs and sticks his snout to the sky in an effort to hide his concern. "H-he'll be back CheerMynxie, I'm ssssure. I know the kitten type, always moving in for the squeeze pla-" Wyvern lets out a high-pitched curse as he trips over the exact same vine that CheerMynx had slipped over, falling over but fortunately avoiding CheerMynx as he does so. The overgrown lizard tugs at the vines as the cabbages continue tying them around them, but ceases struggling as he notices that the furry "vine" currently pressing against his snout is CheerMynx's tail. The reptilian Elder's eyes grow extra wide at the generous view from his position. His bloody nose immediately absorbed by the greenhouse soil...

Screens across the Pen flicker on to the image of dense green foliage and thorny coiling brambles, which seem to slowly shift and twist to the movement of a scaly red wing tip that pokes from its depths. A string of censor-able curses streams from an opening between the weeds before a claw reaches out and snags a few jagged branches, pulling a scaly snout with a familiar set of worn infared goggles from the deep brush. Wyvern glances up with the goggles despite the pain of the thorns on his neck scales, trying to get a better sense of the greenhouse layout or perhaps spot a very specific breed of cheerline in high resolution. Spotting nothing, he scrambles out of the thorny bushes with a yelp and drops the infared goggles with a snort of disappointment. He nudges them under the bushes with his tail stinger, finally acknowledging that they’re broken. “Greetingsss, and welcome to another natural botanical episssode of the Almossst Report.” Wyvern brushes the brambles and pollen from his insect repellent scale-net vest and plants a party sparkler on the edge of the bush, which is the only bush of its type in the otherwise spread out open greenery of the quarters. “Just in case the surroundings of Tanuchan’s quarters and her reactions weren’t natural enough for ya, this week’s Report takes us to Gwaihir’s greenhouse in a belated birthday celebration for the verdant elf. Join usss as we scope out some ssssweet plantlife while littering Gwaihir's stomping grounds with decorationsss… aphid-free, of course.” Wyvern grins and nods to the cameras, then pulls a thorn from his side and wanders down the greenhouse walkways, grumbling something about misinterpreting the “Prime Weed” sign that hung over the bush he was previously struggling in. The overgrown lizard digs into his nets and pulls out a festive sparkly plant spray, then pauses as he reaches a display labeled “Siren Lilies.” Five beautiful lily flowers sway and whistle sweet melodies at the front of the plant, while a giant venus fly trap lies camoflauged at their rear. “Of courssse, Gwaihir is not the only pennite who we’d like send our belated well-wishes to this week. Many musical Happy belatedsss go out to Mira, who also celebrated last week.” Wyvern pauses for a moment and steps closer to the Siren Lilies, examining the sign posted next to their area and checking for the approximate age of the plant. “The ever-aging Kasmandre alssso gets a belated birthday shout, as do Freya B and purple shadows for their various contributions. Here’sss hoping that all of you had awesome birthdays, and that this announcement generatesss a substantial number of free personal cheerleader performance vouchersss.” Wyvern winks to the cameras with a token sneer, then steps closer to the lilies, more intrigued by their sweet melodies than he cared to admit. The giant venus fly trap twists itself into snapping position, slowly opening its mouth as it watches the lizard step closer and closer. “And sssspeaking of musical wishes, pennites should feel free to share their musical tastes via the recent Mighty Pen Muxtapes campaign.” Wyvern pulls out a copy of his “Makeout Marauders” muxtape and hands it to the siren lilies, who let out a collective groan and break their spell of music in the process. Wyvern frowns and steps away from the plant before the venus fly trap can test out its teeth. “S-s-sssimple way to share yer favorite music with other pennites, plus Almost Dragonic Brand Product jingles are acceptable. Check it out in the Cabaret.” Wyvern claps his claws together and sprays the siren lilies with his sparkler bottle, causing their whistling to transform into an impromptu disco number. He leaves the Saturday Night Lilies behind, however, as he sets back to marching the twisted greenhouse paths. Wyvern sprays plants left and right with his sparkler until he reaches a low-hanging tree which has branches teeming with a variety of ripe fruits. He snatches a peach from the tree and gorges it in one bite, then reaches for a grapevine only to pause as he spots a sign at the far end of the clearing labeled “Tasty Wiggly Cabbage Picnicing Grounds - Free Entrance for Wyverns.” Wyvern lowers his claw from the grapes and slowly licks his lips, bunching up the scale-net vest on his chest so that it resembles a bib. “In further Pen newsss, Werewolf XXXIX: a Feast Amongst Wolves is now officially underway. The latessst in the ever-popular Werewolf series is also the tassstiest-sounding Werewolf endeavor to date. Sssign up is available in the Conservatory for any folks interested.” Wyvern comes to a halt as he reaches the edge of the Wiggly Cabbage sign, and squeals in anticipation while rubbing his claws together. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a little feassssting to do of my own.” Wyvern lets out a poor excuse for an evil laugh and darts into the labeled area with his claws extended, falling straight into the Wiggly Cabbages’ trap. The overgrown lizard’s initial confusion at the empty clearing of grass is quickly replaced by a distinct feeling of dread as an enormous mob of extra-large cabbages materializes around him, completely surrounding him. Wyvern whimpers and curses over the existence of mental invisibility cloaks, then raises his claws in an attempt to calm the cabbages down and clears his throat. “T-t-to wrap up Pen newsss this evening, cus’ uhhh we were just leaving, pennites and Wiggly Cabbages alike are invited to a sneak peek of the new Geld Sack in Ssspace picture, which is to be framed as the centerpiece of my upcoming Almost Dragonic Brand Artsy Exhibit.™ Located in the deepest dungeon of the Pen, go check it out.” Wyvern gulps as the Wiggly Cabbages start closing in. “I-I-I meant pennitesss including Wiggly Cabbages, errrk. I-I d-d--don’t sssuppose I could interest you veggies in some s-sparkly plant spray...?”

Nice poem, Freya. :-) You mention that you think that it's "much better when it is sung," and I could definitely feel the melody of a song while reading through it. The story arch of the poem is very sweet, and I like how you tie in the metaphorical "currents" in the last stanza. One tiny part of the poem where the melody felt a bit off to me was in the second to last stanza, where I thought "I had lost you" might sound smoother as "I'd lost you." Anyway, it'd be awesome to hear this sung to music at some point. :-) Thanks for sharing it, Freya.

Wyvern wanders through the Conservatory shuffling a number of paper scraps in his claws, paying no mind to the bustle of other Conservatory activities as he marks several sheets with a red ink quill. The overgrown lizard seats himself on a never-used table leftover from the Pen Confection Tasting Convention and observes the last of his doodle sheets, which features a stick figure rendition of CheerMynx with her tail curved into a heart position. He checks the sheet off with his quill before pulling out a folder labeled "Almost Dragonic Brand Modern Artsy Exhibit™ Gameplan." Wyvern buries his snout in the diagrams and cost evaluations, and snatches two pages of messy doodles to compare their "artistic integrity." He contemplates if "Variations on Geld Sacks" might work as a thematic hook for drawing art snobs to the pro-profit event, and sets about scribbling thoughts for an interactive exhibit involving an empty geld sack and a donations box... "meow?" Wyvern snorts and lowers his folder just enough to spot Zira sitting a few feet away from the table, staring at him with a pair of cute and innocent kitten eyes. The lizard twists his snout a bit as he feels a brief pang of familiarity, but fails to make the connection between the kitten and her owner and waves a claw in the best "get lost" motion he can muster. He licks his lips as he lifts the folder back over his face, and promptly begins taking notes on possible gift shop doodle merchandise, including original prints... "mewwwwww?" Wyvern clears his throat and pays the kitten no mind, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling and jotting something about about a 20 geld entrance fee for all. "meeeeowwwwww." Wyvern pauses and bites his lip, then lets out a low hiss and scratches something out, marking a clause prohibiting cute and innocent kittens from entering the exhibit. "Meeeowww." Wyvern tilts his head back and lets out a slightly smoky sigh, lowering his folder again for a moment and glaring at the kitty. "What?!" "MEOW!!!" "OK, that'ssss it!" Wyvern tosses his folder to the side and barges at Zira, who promptly turns and dashes off from the lizard. Wyvern curses as he chases after the kitten, following it down several flights of stairs and stumbling after it through some of the deeper dungeons of the Pen Keep. He finally scoots to a halt as he reaches a room with a sheet of blank white paper at its center, which has no exits other than the spot where he stands. Wyvern pants for breath and shakes a claw at Zira as she continues meowling from a far corner of the room, then steps in only to pause as he notices the shimmering portal shape that hangs over the paper. He takes a step back, not risking a planar shift given his scheduled Almost Report deadline, and scratches his chin as he observes the ancient and spacious look of the dungeon chamber. His beady eyes turn towards Zira again for a moment to pass along an angry stare, but then turn to the sheet of paper and its shimmering portal and stay fixed there. "Hmmmm..." Wyvern reaches into his pocket and pulls out a spare quill and a paper scrap, then jots something down. An almost dragonic grin begins spreading across his scaly snout. "Very interessssting indeed. This could be the centerpiece, but what to call it? 'Geld Sack in Sssspace' perhapsss... either way, sure to be a crowd pleassser." Wyvern snickers to himself and begins scribbling new thoughts on dungeon decor for his Almost Dragonic Brand Modern Artsy Exhibit™, still completely oblivious to the entire Sweet situation...

Wyvern slinks into the Cabaret Room carrying an old tape player in one claw and a cheap-looking amplifier in the other. The overgrown lizard sets up his equipment at a safe distance from the Kikuyu and Degorram tickle torture portrait that hangs on the wall, then ties a radio antenna to one of his horns in the hopes of tuning into the latest business forecast prior to playing any tapes. After a few minutes of pure static, Wyvern grumbles and tosses the antenna to the side, then pulls out a tape from under one of his wings and holds it up to the Cabaret light. The red cassette tape is labeled: --- Makeout Marauders - Mighty Pen Muxtapes vol. 1 http://almostdragonicbrand.muxtape.com/ --- "Hope ya don't mind if I tossss this on?" hisses Wyvern, oblivious to the manner that pennites are scrambling for earplugs... ;-) OOC: Introducing a new way for pennites to share music mixes with each other. The website http://www.muxtape.com is a simple and kinda cool way to put up short music mixes of up to 12 songs. Registration is very quick and uploading is easy, despite a few annoying barriers like the way that the tracks must be in MP3 format (I had to re-upload the songs I wanted on my comp so I could have them as MP3s). My lil' 9 track music mix is available at the link above (http://almostdragonicbrand.muxtape.com/), and consists of lots of comic upbeat numbers about making out. Sign up at the site, make your own mix, and then share it in this thread... just don't forget to subtitle your mix "Mighty Pen Muxtapes vol. 2" etc so we can jock the Pen with pride! :-D

Wyvern stares for a long moment in what looks like a mixture of awe and indecisiveness, mouthing something silently to himself as the scales along his back prickle and a shiver of memory passes down his spine. The overgrown lizard almost takes a step forward to examine the picture closer, but chickens out at the last minute and scurries behind a Pen pillar in the hopes of spying it safely from a distance. As the reptilian Elder's snout pokes out from behind the pillar, a deep crimson blush can be seen setting on his scaly cheeks. ;-) *Very* nice artwork, Kikuyu! I really like the way you positioned the two twins, and think the way Dego's arm is wrapped around Kikuyu's neck looks particularly realistic. I'm also super flattered and honored that you'd base the picture around certain tickle torture incidents *major blushes.* Anyway, moving this to the Cabaret at your request, thanks for sharing it! *rushes out before the blushes are too noticeable*

Wyvern's jaw drops open with a groan as several blurry images of CheerMynx's pleated mini-skirt dance around his eyes in an appealing circular haze. The overgrown lizard teeters as a third horn appears on his head in the form of a scaly bump, and his tongue rolls out of his mouth as he stares at CheerMynx with a dumb semi-conscious expression. "Hmmm, no no that's not it. Here?" CheerMynx thwacks Wyvern once again with the mallet, causing one of his eyes to grow larger than the other and for a few scales to pop up on his snout, but not much else. She bonks him twice more with the result of his wings jerking in different directions, then begins to pout. "Why isn't this working?! Maybe it's because, like, almost dragonic lobes are different? What do you think Wyvie? Wyvie...?" CheerMynx kneels down to examine Wyvern's semi-conscious state further, giving him a more ample view of her jumpered cleavage in the process and causing whatever lights remain in the lizard's attic to fade. She nudges Wyvern's snout a bit just as the lizard blacks out, watching him fall over into an unconscious heap of scales and raincoat rubber with a toothy grin plastered on his face. The Almost Intern purrs to herself as she seats herself back in her study seat and jots a few more notes for her lab report, taking advantage of Wyvern's offer to help out by kicking up her feet on the Almost Dragon's prone body like a scaly foot stool. Meanwhile, right outside of the shut guest room door, a troglyodyte camera man sporting several casts and bandages finishes recording the scene through the limited vision of the door's keyhole. He snickers to himself as he pockets the video reel and hobbles off, grinning at the thought of watching Wyvern get slammed with a hammer in slow-motion instant replay several times over... ;-)

Nice piece, Dego. :-) I really like the thorough descriptions of the man in black (who I'm guessing represents Darkness for obvious reasons) and the way that you make him a very sly and seductive presence to the narrator. While the man in white's voice may have uplifted the narrator, overall I feel like he left less of an impression and didn't have the persuasive qualities of the man in black, which makes for an interesting statement about forces of light versus forces of darkness. I felt a strong anime influence in certain parts of this story, which I'm sure at least partially had to do with drawing inspiration from that Mucc "Libra" video. :-) Anyway, thanks for sharing it here Degorram!

The news cameras wander down a silent hall of the Pen where a “Totally Quiet Please” sign has been tacked to the wall with a cheerleader pin and a bright pink ribbon. The cameras continue wobbling forward until they reach a door with the room number “426” etched on it in silver, and a webbed hand reaches out to shove it open. The news crew makes their way into an elegant room with hazy blue lighting, which is silent save for the faint sound of a waterfall that cascades peacefully behind a large bookcase of ancient tomes. The visuals swerve to the right for a moment to focus on a small tapestry, and troglyodyte hands adjust the lenses until the words written on the tapestry are clear enough to read: The cameras linger on the passage for a moment longer before slowly panning down to the area below the tapestry, revealing a trembling Wyvern huddled in a little green and crimson heap. The overgrown lizard’s eyes dart right and left, and he clutches his green raincoat tighter around his scales as the aquamarine lights generated by the waterfall ripple across the walls of the chamber. “W-w-welcome to th-uhhh, Almossst Report.” Wyvern hisshudders and chatters his teeth for a moment, then slowly gathers himself until he’s crouched in an upright position on the floor. “Reportin from Foe Calibur’s quartersss. A great studyin’ atmosphere for mid-exam CheerMynx, apparently, but not a big favorite of yers truly as far as design goesss. Why couldn’t the Crystal Tides just be made out of crystal? *sniffle*” Wyvern goes quiet as he stares off into the distance for a moment, his pupils moving left and right to the rippling motion of the waterfall lights along the walls. After a few minutes of watching this, the reptilian Elder’s scales have begun to match the color of his raincoat. He turns away from the cameras and retches a few curly onion cheese doodles into one of Foe Calibur’s priceless dolphin ceramic vases, then coughs to himself and turns with his snout twisted in discontent. “*A-hurk-ahem* Jussst cleanin’ the ol’ smoke pipes there, eheheheh. Anywaysss, welcome n’all.” Wyvern sways back and forth dizzily as he rises to his feet, clutching at the edges of his raincoat and trying not to let the splashing water sounds get the best of him. “*Ahem* F-Firssst of all, I’d just like to apologize for the incidentsss that occurred on the ‘Dispels Myths of Accurate Reporting’ episode of the Almost Report a few weeksss back. The Almost Report does not sssupport suicide squirrel terrorism in any shape or form… unless it results in a 40% rise in show ratings, of course. Sssince Snypiuer’s invasion only made for a 5% rise and was uncomfortable for our favorite Almost Intern, we have decided to take special precautions against future Snypiuer invasionsss through an enhanced Almost Report sssecurity system.” Wyvern gestures to the right with a shaky claw, and the cameras turn in that direction to reveal a piece of moldy cheese hanging from a string with an open bear trap under it. The “immaculate security system” is accompanied by an advertisement poster for Grim Squeaker Punt, Pass, and Kick Games,™ which hangs to the right of the trap and features the image of a rat skull getting batted with the blunt end of a scythe. “A-a-anyways *sniffle,* a quick reminder ‘bout recent Pen eventsss.” Wyvern takes a deep breath and lunges forward, moving out of the waterfall-oriented central room and into narrow maroon hallway lined with portraits. The overgrown lizard breaths a deep sigh of relief as his scales begin to return to their original shade of crimson. “With the ‘Why Does’ Challenge, the Public Pen Diary, and new pennite spottings in the Cabaret, there’sss always something to sink yer quills into. Or your geld into, if you're interested in Almost Dragonic Brand Copper Dispensing Slot Machines.™” Wyvern slithers his way down the hall in the direction of Foe Calibur’s guest rooms in the hopes of seeing how CheerMynx’s studies are coming along (amongst other things), only to pause as he spots a familiar portrait of a pennite cradling a large shiny sculpture of a pointy ear. “The Almost Report would also like to extend its best birthday wishesss to Valdar, who we’ll be sssending some extra shiny ear stockings to. I hope you had a great one, Valdar!” Wyvern tilts his head in his best attempt at well-wishes in horn speak, then spots something else in the corner of his eye. He points to a small speck in the background of the Valdar portrait. “I’d also like to extend birthday wishes to Aardvark, who we’ll be sending a back-up box of thermite via C-class economy mail. Have a good one, Aardy!” With that, Wyvern creeps away from the portrait and passes by a number of other frames before arriving at a door to one of the guest rooms that’s been left slightly ajar. The overgrown lizard lifts a claw to his snout to silence the rest of the news crew, then gently pushes the door open a little further and shoves his snout through to peer inside…

Wyvern enters into Feste's white box carrying a clipboard with a checklist in one claw and a half-empty bottle of Bruteweiser in the other. The reptilian Elder scratches his chin as he observes the design of the rather plain quarters, then scribbles a few footnotes on his checklist and wanders from one wall to another, swooshing his scaly tail over the gray box floor. "Could obvioussssly do with a bit of decor, but it'll work." Wyvern raps his claw on the wall closest to him and marks something on his checklist, then claps his claws together and lets out a high-pitched w-hiss-tle. Lizardman underlings immediately begin filing into the box, maneuvering around Venefyxatu as they pull out measuring tape and electric drills while others shove in oversized furniture. Wyvern raps his tail stinger on the floor, and checks another item from his list. "Good, niccce and sssturdy. Huh? Oh yeah, just put the ceramic brain statue over in the left corner there. Yeah, I think we'll ssstart with the turquoise paint." Wyvern crosses his arms over his chest as he watches the lizardmen get to work, then pauses as the voice of Feste echoes through the room. "Excuse me, but this is my box. What's going on here?" "Ah, hello there Fessste. We're putting your box to the tessst, put your worries to rest. I'm Wyvern, one of the bessst." Wyvern raps, then marks another box off his checklist. "Anyway, I figured we'd rent out this box of yours as a guest room for Psimon's quarters since its cerebrally based n'stuff. Sssince your buddy Eh-ma-jin-ay-shun only visits for limited periods, and bewildering thoughts are tax-deductable, I figure it shouldn't be too much of a problem?" OOC: Nice piece, Feste. Welcome to the Pen!

Cool piece, Savage Dragon. :-) I was initially thrown off by the lack of details in it, but think that the general nature of the piece can allow readers to relate to the situation in a more universal way. Feeling trapped and unable to advance while the pressure of people's expectations weighs upon you can be a really difficult thing to deal with, and I think that good deal of the emotions of those sorts of situations are touched upon here. Anyway, as frustrating as the complete lack of options is, I'm still glad that going "nowhere" has been barred from the options as well. :-) Anyway, thanks for sharing this here SD.

On the Eve of April Fools, I went and saw Educated Consumers, Joey Beats & Blak, Ardaplus and Flexxx Matthews at DC9 in Washington, DC. I went to this show with a friend of mine from DC, Phil, who's kind of a trip to hang out with since funny stuff always seems to befall him. This time around, he took us to the venue since he knew where it was and we paid to get in, then went upstairs only to realize that the set-up wasn't very hip hop oriented. After asking the doorman, it turns out it was the wrong venue and that DC9 was a couple blocks up. Fortunately, we managed to get our money back before dipping to the accurate spot, which was looking more familiar as we'd went to see Qwel over there once. One of DC's better local MCs, Flexxx Matthews, opened the show with a fairly entertaining set. The sound system wasn't working well with the iPod he had backing him up, and I've seen him put on better sets over the course of my stay in DC, but he still livened up the crowd a bit and stood out for his humorous qualities. He did maybe a little too much talking between songs, but to make up for it he kicked an entertaining freestyle where he pointed to objects that different people were holding and rapped about them. Not a bad set, overall. Ardaplus took the stage next, and didn't really do much for me. I'd never heard of the group before, though I had heard of the rapper Ardamus before without having listened to any of his stuff. To the group's credit, Ardamus is a pretty good MC, but I can't really say the same about Double Plus or their DJ with his questionable shades and toy guns. They had one or two good tracks like a number entitled "Drugs," but for the most part I wasn't really feeling their beat selection or Double Plus's rhymes. There was a certain energy in their set that I appreciated, but I found it sort of mediocre overall. Joe Beats & Blak Lungz were the next to perform, and were the main reason I came out to the show. Joey Beats has established himself as an excellent producer, both through his amazing work with Sage Francis in the group Non-Prophets and for his instrumental endeavors like last year's "Diverse Recourse," which was one of my favorites of '07. He really showed his skills off live by composing his beats with two MPC samplers on the spot, improvising in certain areas and demonstrating how intricate his tracks are through multiple layers of sampling and drum programming. I wasn't as familiar with Blak Lungz, the MC that Joe Beats is most currently collabing with, but he impressed me with his slick voice and flow and in the way he tackled Joey's layered tracks. Very smooth set full of excellent production and natural MCing, with great performances from both parties. Thumbs up. Educated Consumers, a DC-based hip hop group that I've never really cared for, were the final act and headliner of the show. I'm afraid they simply continue to bore me... I didn't really stick around for much of their set, and opted instead to pick up some of Joe Beats' merchandise and bounce. On the plus side, I got to say hello to DC's finest production talent Damu the Fudgemonk who was in the building, and gave him props for his work on last year's excellent Y Society album. Decent show, overall. Here's a bit of footage I took: Joey Beats and Blak Lungz performing a track that uses one of my favorite beats from Joey's "Diverse Recourse" album: Flexxx Matthews' freestyle in its near-entirety:

"Oooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooooh!" The cameras linger on the AlmostDragon-a-Like's burning tail for a minute longer before wobbling in the direction of the starstruck cries of delight. They freeze as they spot a figure kneeling on the ground and picking up the gold-coated chocolate one piece at a time, with a new exuberant cry of glee for each coin discovered. The cameras back up a little as the figure rises from the floor, then back up a lot after making out the figure's physical characteristics. Bright red pompoms dot two spots on the figure's head, and two larger neon orange pompoms are clutched where the figure's claws would be while a tiny crimson pompom rests at the end of the figure's scaly tail. Speaking of scales, the figure's scales are dotted in patterns of black and orange in a manner that forms makeshift stripes, and seem to be a little too copious and visible for comfort. This is in large part due to the skimpy outfit the figure sports, which consists of a two-piece checkered jester's garment, with tight spandex shorts that show the shapes of the scales beneath (amongst other things) and a skimpy threaded sash tied around what appear to be two white volleyballs that rest suspended in front of the figures chest. "Ooooh! Ooooh!" The ChWyeerline pockets a final gold-coated coin, then perks up and smiles toothily in the show host's direction. "Ohmigod I am sssssssooo sssssorry I'm late! I saw all these shiny gold coins to pick up, and then Lizzy wanted to make them into glitter, but Trogloditta and Goblecha wanted earings and I just thought they'd make a nice necklace but like I needed threads n'ssstuff. Anyway, I got thisss outfit special for the Report, waddaya think?" Chyverynx hisses flirtatiously and raises an orange pompom to a cheap blond wig to show off the outfit, causing half of the troglyodyte news crew to abandon ship in the process. A tiny eyesight salamander peeks its head from between the chest volleyballs as CheerWynx skips past a departing makeup troglyodyte and comes to a stop next to the Almost Almost Dragonic host, giggling all the while. "Aaannnnyyyyyway, I just wanna like send my best wishes to Reverie n' Gryphon! Everyone should like, totally party for'em and send'em your best. The two of you can come down to the Report for one free Almost Dragonic Brand Personal Cheerleader Pay Performance Voucher™ each." WyveerMynx's eyes suddenly widen at the sight of the burning Almost an Almost Dragon tail, and the salamander ducks into the two volleyballs for safety. "I-in fact, I'll uhhh, like totally demonstrate a personal performance right now. Totally." The Almost Almost Intern flails his orange pompoms at the fire while shaking some scaly rump for the unfortunate remainder of the troglyodyte camera crew to see. The pompoms manage to douse the tail flames to a non-dangerous state, but not before lighting on fire themselves. "Like, I also wanna totally give my best wishes to Tanny! I have a free Almost Dragonic Brand Mannequin Arm Makeover Voucher™ jussst waiting for you down here at the Report, so come n'get it before Lizzy starts complaining about how I never handle my wolfie friends beauty needs!" CheerWyv tosses the flaming pompoms to the side as they scald the crimson claws beneath them. The Almost-a-cheerline ignores the state of the cardboard backdrop as it begins to burn, and strikes another toothy grin towards the cameras. "That's like a wrap and stuff. Jussst remember to totally tune in next week so you can catch more of that handsome devil Wyvern and stuff!"

Thanks for choosing to share this poem with us here, DL Snake. :-) It seems like a nice way to put the relationship behind you and move on, and I sympathize with the feelings of abandonment and dejection that the situation evokes. Not going to comment much on the technical aspects of the poem since you mainly put it here to share feelings, but I will note that the "henless chick" metaphor at the beginning of the poem felt a little different then the others... perhaps because when I think of a "chick," I immediately think of a baby chicken, which gives the metaphor more of a father abandonment connotation than a girlfriend abandonment connotation. Anyway, still nice, thanks for sharing these feelings once again. :-)

Wyvern sways back and forth in a happy daze as he continues gaping at CheerMynx, narrowly avoiding a number of spear swings via pure luck and getting a face-full of golden pompom on more than one occasion. The overgrown lizard's hypno-swirl eyeglasses begin spinning in spite of themselves as he observes the cheerline's "adornments" in action, and they fall from his face along with his evil eyebrows as his beady eyes grow wider and wider at the Almost Intern's gyrating hips. The perfectly positioned gold of the outfit only heightens Wyvern's focus on the intricate lines of the bikini, which causes the lizard to continue stammering like a weak broken record. Needless to say, by the time CheerMynx has slowed in her spinning and begun wobbling back and forth, Wyvern's breeches are no longer anywhere near sagging. "habababa-b-be careful CheerMynxie, the helmet!" Wyvern finally breaks from his stammering trance and races forward, but not before CheerMynx backs into the dented mithril helmet on the floor and falls over backwards in her dizzy state. Much to Wyvern's relief, the cheerline's fall is broken by a small pile of Autobiographical Diaries that he'd left strewn across the floor... though much to his horror, the amazon kitty's spear and instinctive claws make confetti out of a number of priceless diary pages. Wyvern bites his lip as his worries shift from CheerMynx's well-being, to the costs of replacing armor and library items, to becoming non-existant as the reptilian Elder zones out to the sight of the golden kitten goddess on her back. The overgrown lizard absorbs the cheerline's mythical proportions for only a moment before self-control kicks in, however, and he immediately extends a claw to help his favorite Almost Intern to her feet. "You O.K, CheerMynxie? That wasss some fall, lemme tell ya." "Snuffles?" CheerMynx pats her shoulders and Wyvern's horns blindly, causing the lizard to stiffen up a bit. "Like, where's Snuffles?!" Wyvern scans the library for a moment, then turns as he hears an unhappy mewling sound coming from under the helmet on the floor. The reptilian reporter kneels and carefully lifts an edge of the battered helmet up, only to curse as Snuffles bursts out full speed ahead, still running in circles under the impression that the mouse flailing is still underway. CheerMynx plucks the kitten minion off the floor with ease, though, and places the calmed Snuffles on her shoulder with a giggle. "ThankssomuchWyvie, oh my God that was worst than those strobe lights at the show with Jessica." CheerMynx pauses and clutches her weapon. "But what about the rats?!" "N-n-no ratsss, no rats!" Wyvern raises his claws before CheerMynx does anything more with her delightfully golden spear. "No ratsss here. L-lisssten though CheerMynxie, we got some other budget type problemsss, what with equipment and damagesss and all... well, errr, here, I think you should take a look at this book." Wyvern reaches into the back pockets of his breeches for the "Famous Demon Geld Stashes" tome, but accidentally pulls out the other book and hands it to CheerMynx. "I think thesssse are the sort of things we should strive to achieve in future reportsss." Wyvern taps on the cover of the book without looking at it, not noticing his mistake. "To achieve'em, we'll have to take the proper precautions of courssse. And if accidentsss should occur, like sssay in this Library, we would need to keep it on the hush hush. We want as few financial burdenssss as possible, after all." Wyvern winks to CheerMynx in the hopes of conveying the thought that the damages to Gyrfalcon's quarters will be their little secret, though the wink could easily be interpreted as something else. He grins and turns a slightly deeper shade of a red as CheerMynx looks over the dust jacket of the book curiously. "Thankssss so much for the Cabaret party last week, by the way." Wyvern presses his claws together. "Could ya ssskim through that book for a future Report and consider it? Jussst remember, any little contribution on your part can go a looonnng way." ;-)

The Almost Report cameras flicker on to the image of a dusty weapon rack, with ancient knives of all shapes and sizes arranged in a manner that would make Mynx purr in excitement. The cameras slowly follow a dark claw as it trails down the hilts of the blades, stopping as the claw reaches an empty spot where the edge of a katana should be sticking from. The news cameras zoom out enough to get a full view of Wyvern as he stares at the empty hole with a confused look on his snout. A webbed hand reaches over the cheap lens of the post spray-paint camera and twists it to adjust the image, revealing Wyvern’s pitch black cloak of runes and complimentary ink-dipped horns and wing tips. The overgrown lizard adjusts the hypno-swirl eyeglasses and evil eyebrows set on his scaly face, then turns towards the cameras with an almost dragonic attempt at evil laughter. “Nya ha ha ha ha. Ha. Haha. *Ahem* Welcome to the Almossst Report.” Wyvern spreads his wings a bit as the cameras roll back into their designated positions. A webbed hand reaches out to adjust the lenses again, decreasing the haziness until an old library can be seen. The quiet quarters are small enough to not be the central library of the Pen, yet elegant and ancient enough to put many personal libraries to shame. Wyvern creeps parallel to a shelf of books on demons, sticking out his forked tongue and letting his claws pass over the spines. “Join us as we report to you from Gyrfalcon’s personal library in a Pen mythology ssspecial. For mythical starters, this adorably menacing Exophek cossstume I’m wearing is made out of 100% pure used demon tissue, and comes as part of the prepackaged Almost Dragonic Brand Gyrfalcon Movie Leftover Wardrobe Set™. Only 599 geld, cheap.” Wyvern brushes a bit of snotty ash from the shoulder of his cloak and buries his snout in a shelf section detailing mythical denizens of greed. He emerges with a tome labeled “Famous Demon Geld Stashes,” and flips through it as he hisses: “Now, I’m sssure many of you are wondering ‘Why does the Almost Report always invade the quarters of innocent pennites without their permission?’ Well… what better way to anssswer that question than to create an Almost Report myth of your own! Jussst head on over to the Assembly Room and join Ciri’s ‘Why Does…’ Challenge to ssspin yer own yarn.” Wyvern tears off a piece of his cloak to bookmark a page of the tome. “Jussst refer to the Cabaret ‘Why Does…’ Challenge OOC if you have any questions, and remember: there’sss no such thing as bad publicity.” Wyvern winks to the cameras, then shoves the geld stash tome into a back pocket of his worn breeches and wanders over to a different section of the bookshelves. The reptilian reporter raises a fake evil brow as he glances over the titles of the section, then kneels down to browse the titles in the lower half of the shelf. A webbed hand adjusts the camera lens until the “Autobiographical Diaries” sign of the area is clear. “Many Pen mythsss have ssstemmed from rumors written in pennite diaries.” Wyvern freezes for a moment, then pulls out a book entitled “Lustralia the Succubi’s Many Encounters” and immediately sticks it in the other back pocket of his breeches. “*Ahem* And why not essstablish your own rumors in Snypiuer’s Pen Public Diary? A chance to file your thoughts of the day in the Cabaret, with no mythos required. Almost Dragonic Brand Gyrfalcon Katana Quills™ are also available by request for the event, 399 geld cheap.” Wyvern hops up from his position, testing the durability of his worn breeches as they hang lower than usual under the weight of the books in his pockets. He wanders over to a suit of mithril chainmail that stands next to a window, then pulls up his pants a bit and takes out a sheet of paper. “In further Pen member news, voting Pen members should be sure to contribute their thoughts to the latest set of Pen promotions so we can decide who to extend shiny new mythical titles to. Voting ends on March 31rst, so get’em in before then.” Wyvern ruffles the paper and turns it over as his breeches start sagging again. “And ssspeaking of Pen members, our best birthday wishes go out to Tamaranis, who’s probably celebrating with somebody Bloody named Mary. Here’s hopin’ you have a great one, Tam.” Wyvern scratches one of his horns and leans dangerously against the mithril armor, double-checking the information on his sheet. He taps his tail stinger on the chainmail and snorts before continuing. “Finally, have you seen this rat?” Wyvern holds up the sheet to the cameras, and a webbed hand adjusts the lens until a bony image of the Grim Squeaker can be seen. “Reported missssing as of today. Almost Dragonic Brand Daryl Foxtail Mousetraps™ now available by request for 99 geld, cheap.”

Wyvern pauses in the middle of climbing to his Office window, scratching his horns and taking a moment to contemplate potential counter-marketing strategies. He'd heard word of Ayshela's limited line of birthday products from one of the troglyodyte Almost Report crew, and though he didn't know whose birthday she'd set up for, he wasn't about to let her dominate the market. Judging by the list of her products that the troglyodyte had handed him, the production of an Almost Dragonic Brand Party Favor Stealer Claw™ was going to be a top priority. Wyvern grunts as he shoves the Office window open, tossing in a few envelopes of mail retrieved from the Tavern of the Quill before shoving his way into the mess of an Office. The overgrown lizard sits up and scoops the mail from the floor, then begins sorting through it absent-mindedly as he continues to brainstorm ways to compete with Ayshela's merch. Almost Dragonic Brand Candle-Lighting Cake-Baking Flamethrowers™ would be essential, though if she was really marketing Cake Repellent Helmets a smear campaign might be required... The reptilian Elder storms over to his desk, deep in thought, and shoves a few raunchy magazines and golden eggs to the side to set the envelopes in front of him. He takes a seat and begins tapping a claw on the tabletop before doing a double-take and grabbing one of the eggs. Wyvern lifts the egg to his snout to examine it, not bothering to sniff it out as he rides with the notion of pure geld, his eyes widening to gold-rinsing pan proportions. He stammers a bit as his eyes dart from one corner of the glittering Office to another, absorbing the extent of the scattered riches and squinting in the hopes of spotting a golden goose. Wyvern squeals to himself in an excited manner and pounces out of his seat, estimating enough golden eggs to raise the Almost Intern Fashion Fund to a solid 60%. "Wyviiiiiieeeeee!" Wyvern turns as CheerMynx bounds in on cue, his eyes growing wider still at the sight of her skimpy bunny gear. The reptilian Elder gawks and chokes as the cheerline races up to him and embraces him in a huggle, gibbering as the ample cleavage displayed by her outfit presses up against him. He finally breaths when CheerMynx lets go, but pants and sways dizzily as she bends over to pick up a golden egg. The full view of the cheerline's round bunny tail and everything beneath it is enough to make Wyvern consider investing in one of Ayshela's Special Deluxe Lap Protectors, just in case he loses control of himself. "Like, at least try one birthday boy." CheerMynx giggles and unwraps the top of one of the eggs, handing it to Wyvern with a wink. The overgrown lizard's wings droop a bit when he notices that the eggs aren't actual geld, but he smiles and blushes when the nature of the event dawns upon him. He pops the chocolate into his mouth, but almost swallows the entire thing whole as CheerMynx stretches and shows off the finer tailoring of her outfit in the process. Wyvern coughs and clears his throat for a moment, then snatches the shiny 5-geld coin from his desk and turns it in his claws bashfully. "Awww, ya shouldn't have. Thankssss, CheerMynxie and all." :-) OOC: Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone! I'm honored to have had a thread made for me when so many awesome pennites have gone without proper B-day threads this year, and wanted to let you know that your creative posts and kind words really brightened my day. Thanks a bunch again!

"Ah, nature..." Wyvern sighs to himself as he feebly gestures in the direction of the camera, focussing more on CheerMynx's natural curves than the extent of the spray paint damages. The reptilian Elder gawks at the cheerline as her tail swooshes the leaves of her skirt back and forth, clearing his throat at the sight of more pelt than a striped fur coat convention. "N-n-now CheerMynxie, let'sss not get TOO fessstive. Errr, unless that involvesss making clover leaf confetti that isss." Wyvern smiles to the cheerline in as charming a manner as he can muster, then turns to two of the troglyodyte news crew and begins gesturing frantically to indicate that the camera urgently needs cleaning. The troglyodytes glance to one another, then grumble to themselves and begin rolling the camera to a spot adjacent to Tanuchan's hut. Wyvern follows them to a small porch at the back of the cottage, where the troglyodytes begin spitting on cleaning rags to scrub the camera lens with. The overgrown lizard turns and leans back against a large wooden barrel next to the hut, looking down at his outfit and cursing inwardly as he notices that some green stray paint has landed on his wilted bush, making him un-pinchable. The lizard’s eyes quickly turn from his outfit to the approaching CheerMynx, however, and his pupils immediately start bouncing to the rhythm of the Almost Intern’s “leaf stacks.” “And then Tammy kicked the cocktail cus’ her routines involve lots of kicks and it landed right in the half-orc goblin pal’s face and he cursed us out but not like a spell and then-“ CheerMynx pauses to observe Wyvern, whose eyes are now turned in the sky… perhaps to avoid becoming too consumed by the cheerline’s outfit, or perhaps because he’d spotted something in the air. “Like, Wyvie? Helloooo?” CheerMynx tilts her head and waves a paw in front of Wyvern’s snout, then notices the direction that his eyes are directed and squeals with delight. “Oooohhhhhh! Is it him again?!” CheerMynx bounces forward and brushes Wyvern to the side, moving her leafy rear against more scales than she was probably aware of. The cheerline glances upward to an excited whimper of almost dragonic distress, but droops her ears a bit when she only spots a Reply Raven soaring back in the direction of the Pen Keep. "Awwww, where's the Other guy?" "W-w-wh-wh-what, that N-N-N-Naked one?" Wyvern's stammering dies down a bit as CheerMynx turns to nod enthusiastically in his direction, offering a few inches of distance in the process. The lizard turns his tail stinger back and forth against the barrel behind him in a nervous jitter. "Ehhh, h-he's alright. A-a-and I can be nekkid too, I mean errr, b-by requessst of courssse... maybe." Wyvern continues turning his tail stinger back and forth as CheerMynx crosses her arms over her chest, possibly dislodging a leaf or two in the process. She stares at the overgrown lizard as his bush outfit seems to wilt further. "P-p-p-plusss, I'm workin on my maniacal laugh. Of courssse, that Angel did have a really nice laugh... and nice wings, and a kinda nice-" Wyvern freezes up and chokes in horror as his tail stinger makes a hole in the wooden barrel behind him, causing the rainwater collected within to stream down his tail and into his outfit. He begins doing his best impression of a mexican jumping bean bush as his delayed reaction kicks in, and cries out as he tosses weeds left and right in a futile effort to get out of his wet disguise...

Nice poem, Vlad. :-) I like how it alternates between making us feel sympathy for the narrator and making us feel that he got the dejection he deserved. There's something likeable about the way that he waits for his loved one for hours, but the veil of sympathy is lifted in the last three lines of the poem. I like how you incorporate that voyeuristic element into the piece, as the hanging camera gives the relationship a whole new dimension in the end. Anyway, great to read some new stuff from you Vlad. :-) Out of curiousity, how does the title "Parker's Pirates" connect to the poem?

Very nice poem, Ciri. :-) I like most of the imagery in it as well as the way that you incorporate line breaks, with the transition to 'They wish they could have been" in the first stanza standing out to me for some reason. As far as imagery goes, the urban images of the last two stanzas were probably my favorites, as both of them offered original depictions of the bleakness that cities can offer. I doubt I'll be able to rival reverie as far as suggestions and analysis go, but my minor complaints would pretty much echo what others have suggested you work on. The third stanza was not quite as effective as the others to me due to the image of the "dying rose," which I found somewhat conventional and less genuine than the other images of the piece. I also felt that the second and third stanzas were like a different kind of poem than the others, as those two stanzas dealt with things personal to the narrator and the narrator's life whereas the other stanzas all seemed to be more focussed on the lives of other people in an urban landscape. One way to tie the stanzas together might be to offer a way that one of the narrator's personal events effected the lives of others, or maybe saving the personal events for the end of the poem to go from the more general setting to the personal. Anyway, this is definitely a good poem with some striking imagery Ciri. :-) Thank you for sharing it here, I'm looking forward to reading more from you once your school work dies down.

Ah, nature. The beautiful sound of rustling leaves filtered through the playful nudges of the wind, the sight of the morning sunlight dancing on spots of brush through the forest treetops, the feel of the local raccoons as they gnaw through the expensive camera equipment, the- Almost Report Episode 56, “Au Natural.” Take 2. Ah, nature. The beautiful sound of rustling leaves filtered through the playful nudges of troglyodyte henchmen as they chase after a gang of raccoons with axes, the sight of the morning sunlight dancing on spots of brush through the forest treetops as it causes a blinding camera glare, the- Almost Report Episode 56, “Au Natural.” Take 3. The news cameras turn to a suspicious-looking bush, which stands on its own in an otherwise pretty clearing next to a cozy forest cottage. The odd position of the bush and the oversized thorns (read: horns) that stick from its top are strange to begin with, but the wilted brown color of the shrubbery is particularly noticeable and makes the bush look more fit for a tumbleweed competition than a forest in bloom. A set of ink-blotted infared goggles emerge from the front of the bush before Wyvern’s snout and wings pop out. The reptilian reporter stares off into the distance for a few minutes before turning and grinning towards the cameras. “Greetingsss, voyeurism fans.” Wyvern pauses for a moment to stare back in the direction of the Pen Keep with his goggles, adjusting his hazy ink-stained lenses in the hopes of making a wolf-spotting… a Tanuchan spotting, to be exact, to make sure that she was occupied at her Pen quarters and not a threat to the illegal visit of the Report. “Welcome to the latessst Almost Report, where we usher in the Sssspring season and St. Patrick’s day with a look at one of the Pen’s coziest nature nooks: Tanuchan’s forest hut! Join usss as we spy on animals, scheme on animals, and sssit on animals if they’re furry and comfortable enough. That, CheerMynx, and more, coming up soon.” Wyvern raises his goggles back up to his snout and stares back off in the direction of the Pen Keep, ignoring the forest and its copious wildlife completely. The overgrown lizard mumbles a few curses as he continues to fail to find any sign of Tanuchan at her quarters, and ends up trailing his blurry line of sight to a window of the Pen’s Cabaret Room. “In recent Pen newsss, the coming of the new season has resulted in a number of uncommon pennite sightingssss. A warm welcome back to Joat, Snypiuer, Vlad, and Mai Takekaze amongssst others.” Wyvern squints and adjusts the zoom function on his goggles. “To celebrate the occasion, the Almost Report is now offering an Almost Dragonic Brand Honorable Pennite Spotting Guidebook™ for EZ identification. Essential for Pen sighting connaissseurs, only 80 geld cheap!” Wyvern pulls out a flimsy pamphlet meant to represent a guidebook and holds it up for the cameras to see, flipping through the handwritten pages until it lands on a picture of Merelas labeled “Infernus Halfelficus.” The picture of Merelas depicts the flame elf in the midst of one of his birthday celebrations, with his cake candles burning a little too brightly for comfort. Wyvern taps the page twice with a claw, then snaps the pamphlet shut and stuffs it into some weeds hanging from the side of his wilted outfit. He then turns his attention back to the Pen Keep, shifting his goggles from one window to another. “Of courssse, if you’re having trouble spotting rare pennites, Pen pets are fair game as well. Just check the Cabaret Room for some instant spotting list gratification.” Wyvern tilts his head up as he spots Falcon’s Reply Raven in the sky, and cranes his neck as he watches the bird soar overhead. He turns his goggles in the direction of the forest in the hopes of identifying the raven’s landing spot, adjusting the zoom function on his goggles back and forth. “And don’t forget to pitch a Bruteweiser back fer ol’ Saint Pat.” Wyvern glances at his outfit for a moment, making sure that not a hint of green is visible in the wilted shrubbery and grinning dumbly at the thought of CheerMynx giving him more than just a pinch. “Bruteweissser™ – the leading contributor of pink elephant pet sighting since the age of the Endless Decanter.” With that, Wyvern grins and turns his goggled eyes back towards the forest. The reptilian reporter creeps to the left in his bush outfit a foot at a time over Tanuchan’s cottage clearing. He reaches deep into his shrubbery attire and pulls out a long prosthetic arm, which he uses to push up a tree branch that’s blocking his view of the wilderness. Wyvern licks his lips and glances left and right, finding no sign of the Reply Raven but twisting his snout in disgust at the sight of the lake near Tanuchan’s hut. The reptilian reporter turns to stare at a different section of the forest, only to pause and immediately backtrack to the visual of the lake. His jaw goes slack as he stares at the stunning image resting near the water…

Muddy in "action"

Good poem, reverie. The personal feelings and history behind the piece are driven across well through the details and tone, which contain a great deal of suppressed anger and pain. I really like how you compare the patrol men of the last stanza to the others at the trial, and the irony of the ugly car standing out in the narrator's description at the trial was very well-incorporated as well. I also like some of the elements of the first segment, such as the reference to the car being "a hybrid just like us," though I guess I can see how you'd consider that part of the poem needing refinement... for starters, I'd probably drop "impractically" from the third stanza, though I generally have an aversion towards the use of adverbs in poetry. Anyway, thanks for sharing this rev. :-) I think the title of the poem is perfect, by the way.

A stack of camera equipment bills at the foot of Wyvern's desk shifts and lunges forward like a geld-consuming version of the Blob. A claw reaches from the depths of the sheets and clings to a leg of the Recruiter's Desk before Wyvern pulls himself out in full, spreading his wings to shake off the loose papers and cheap camera ordering catalogues hooked to his scales. The reptilian Elder removes a set of coupons from one of his horns and files it safely on his desktop, then slumps into his seat and adjusts the tiny bandages on the edge of his neck and the tip of his snout (the "Myopia" situation had taken some maneuvering in the last Report). Wyvern also adjusts a larger bandage at the base of one of his horns, which doesn't cover any scratch but which makes him look that much hipper and macho. He sniffles to himself and sets about returning to his "important Office work," which amounts to doodling CheerMynx poses over an urgent tax notification document. The overgrown lizard pauses in the middle of scribbling a pompom, however, as he notices an unfamiliar application lying next to his Office booze mug. He raises the application folder and inspects it to see if there's enough space on it for more CheerMynx doodles, then raises a brow as he notices the name listed on it and opens it to read the first paragraph. He sets the application down and reaches into one of the drawers of his desk, pulling out a miniature crystal ball. "Hi, Ssspinky? Yeah, yeah I know you're off duty." Wyvern taps a claw down on Luna's application as he speaks through the ball. "Lisssten, could ya do me a favor and get this gal Luna Silverthorne down to my Office? Tell'er I'm reading over her app. No. Well no, she doesssn't need a perm. Just get'er down here alright?" Wyvern waves a claw over the ball to dim it, then turns back to reading over "Magnolia Grove." By the time Luna Silverthorne and her escort Spinky the news fashion troglyodyte have arrived at the Office, Wyvern has already flipped through a few pages of the application. "Missss Silverthorne. Please, take a seat and make yerself comfortable. I'll be finished with your application in a bit." Wyvern grins in Luna's direction, then turns his eyes towards Spinky as the troglyodyte wanders up to his desk and extends a webbed hand. Wyvern stares at it for a minute before giving Spinky a high-five, then signals for him to go with a claw. The troglyodyte grumbles in an unsatisfied manner and stares at Wyvern with an angry look before sticking his nose up and wandering out of the Office. "Interesssting so far." Wyvern sneers and lifts the application folder, turning Luna's attention away from the disgruntled troglyodyte's exit. "Feel free to amuse yerself by browsing some of the many Office reading materialsss while you wait, should only be a lil' longer." Wyvern gestures to three of the taller stacks of paperwork cluttering the Office, then sets back to reading over Luna Silverthorne's application. Luna leans back in her applicant easy chair and places her hand on her chin as she watches the reptilian Elder at work, not bothering with the "reading materials" given the rather disorganized and ink-stained state of the paper stacks. She starts picking at the armrest of her easy chair as she waits ten minutes... then twenty minutes... then thirty minutes. Luna finally glances up at the Office Rolodex clock and raises herself from her seat with a sigh, bored out of her wits and desperately in need of a change in scenery. She pauses when she reaches the Office door, however, as Wyvern clears his throat loudly and lifts himself from his seat. "Ms. Ssssilverthorne, I've finished reading yer piece." Wyvern nods and turns Luna's application folder over so that she won't see the CheerMynx doodles that now cover its front page. "*Ahem* Some nice bitsss in there, though obviously there're elements that could be improved... for example, Jimmy shouldn't have given Lynn the watch for anything lesss than 260 geld, ssscrew promises! That and Thomas Case should have had Lynn pay for shipping from New Orleans, though why he'd part with those pricey stock certificates in the first place is beyond me." Wyvern scratches his chin, then shoves one of his claws into a desk drawer and begins rummaging through it. "Of courssse, this story will have to pass by Tamaranis, Vlad, and Black for vampyre inspection, but for now..." Wyvern pulls out his trusty stamp and labels Luna's application ACCEPTED, then carefully files her folder into his desk so that he can continue his doodling later. "Hope ya don't mind if I hold onto it for a while. Y'know, proofreading n'all that." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application Luna Silverthorne, welcome to the Mighty Pen! :-) I'm glad that you've chosen the Pen as a community to share your writing with, and hope that you find us a very friendly and welcoming community to get involved and participate in. Welcome, once again!

The safety camera installed in CheerMynx's bedroom HQ flickers on to the sound of broken machinery. The camera turns its attention to Wyvern, who stands cemented in place as he watches CheerMynx head to retrieve her rapier, his eyes carefully following her leather-clad hips as they sway back and forth. The overgrown lizard's snout twitches a bit and he extends his tongue to lick up a trail of drool heading down his chin, decidedly impressed despite the extent of the latest equipment bill. He beats his tail stinger into the carpet in a futile effort to hide his jittery excitement... the Almost Intern's outfit would be present in many Wet Dreams to come, that was for sure. "Ohmygod, like, let me get that. I totally hope the silver's still shiny, dents would look SO un-Faaye-ish like." Wyvern's eyes continue to sync up with CheerMynx's movements as she slowly bends over to pick up her weapon, his pupils growing larger with every extra bit of black stripe that's revealed. He bites his lip as CheerMynx's miniskirt verges on moving beyond family-programming, but turns as a crystal ball on the left-hand side of the room begins flashing on and off. The overgrown lizard stares at the flashing ball for a moment before he remembers the trivia segment, then curses as he notices that CheerMynx is back upright with her rapier in hand. He dashes to the crystal ball and waves a claw over it, pressing his scaly head against it to listen in. "Hello? Yes. Yesss, the firssst caller." Wyvern eyes CheerMynx as she polishes her rapier a bit by brushing it across her chest, stammering over the crystal ball. "Y-y-yeah. Uhhh, yeah. C-correct, yeah. Sssure thing, uhmmm, we'll sssend it." Wyvern waves a claw over the crystal ball again, causing it to go dim. He clears his throat and tears his attention away from CheerMynx long enough to face the safety camera for a minute or two. "Thisss just in: we have a winner for the Almost Dragonic Brand Maiden of Daggers Bobblehead™. Congratulationsss Peredhil! We'll be sssending you your prize in a stainless steel box for safety purposes, be on the lookout for it." Wyvern strikes a claws up to the camera and grins. "Up next, a professional re-enactment of a scene from the Dreamer saga, ssstarring CheerMynx and-" "But Wyyyyvern, I like didn't get around to reading the script remember?" CheerMynx sulks and turns her rapier in her paws, ignoring Snuffles as he mewls in a muffled manner. "I'm totally sorry." "Ah well, that'sss alright CheerMynxie." Wyvern scratches his chin and considers possible alternatives to fill the time slot, only to sneer to himself as an idea crosses his mind. "I sssuppose we could invent a prelude to one of the Dreamer stories and play through it on the spot. Maybe a little something for 'Transience' eh? Eh?!" Wyvern lets out a hissy laugh and winks to CheerMynx several times, nudging one of his elbows back and forth to show that his flirtation's all in good fun. "Oh, definitely!" Wyvern's laughter stops as he stares at CheerMynx. He lets out another half a laugh before he notices that the cheerline is serious, at which point he goes bug-eyed and lets his forked tongue roll out of his mouth. "R-r-r-r-re-really?" "Oh totally, I'm like great at coming up with stuff like that on the spot. You'll see!" "I-I-I-I, uhhhh." Wyvern pinches his geld pouch to make sure he's not dreaming, then lets out a high-pitched whimper of sorts. "W-w-w-well, I mean, a-a-are ya ssssure?" "Sure I'm sure! It'll like give me an opportunity to show off all my moves to you too." CheerMynx grins and steps closer to Wyvern. The overgrown lizard goes cross-eyed as he stares down at the cheerline's tail, which is now upright in a playful position and tugging up at the back of her miniskirt. The repetitive screaming of the plastic sword in the background had suddenly gained new meaning. "Plus, it'll be a great way to break a sweat, I haven't had a good work out in SUCH a long time. I mean, I've like practiced of course, but I'm sure you'll totally push me to the limit Wyv!" Wyvern trembles and stammers, unable to speak, his scar paints and armor dye now running due to the sweat that's broken out over his scales. He raises a trembling claw and opens his mouth to say something, but finds his vocals choked and simply ends up nodding several times. "Awesome!" CheerMynx grins and winks to Wyvern with her one eye, then holds up her rapier and points it to his throat. "En guard!" "Whu...?" Wyvern snaps out of his excited trance just in time to yelp and fall back and CheerMynx swooshes her weapon in his direction. He scrambles backwards until his wings are up against the wall, his expression growing more terrified as he realizes what's happened. "Wait, CheerMynx, you were thinkin' of 'Myopia'! You were thinkin' of 'Myopia'!! HAALLLP!!!" ;-)