Wyvern

Wyvern lobs his clawed feet onto the top of his cluttered desk, rubbing his scaly chin in admiration while reading over Thinas' breakdown of "The Matrix" and it's potential relations to the poultry/pork market of the U.S... Grinning evily to himself and jotting down several notes on potentially cheap ways of starting a meat market for a scheme, the overgrown lizard belches a few flames and happily turns towards the dark elf applicant, exclaiming: "A very interesting piece of analysis, Thinas! Glad you ran out of arrow letters and found your way into the Pen... Being a "Matrix" fan myself, I might point out a few more interesting observations in the pictures you offered..." Wyvern picks up the first picture, which depicts the robot scene from "The Matrix", and gleefully hisses: "If one examines this picture carefully and magnifies it, one may notice that the robots don't have trademarks of any sort, dispelling the common myth that trademarks are a trendy fashion in futuristic robot culture. People might also note that the human in this picture is being drawn out of a long, red contraption... subtle advertising at it's finest! "Oscar Weiners" anyone...?" Thinas stares at the picture thoughtfully, trying to imagine the long red contraption the human is being pulled out of in a hot dog bun... "What's more..." continues Wyvern "... the design of the robot in the picture is obviously a rejected design of the character Charlotte from the animated picture "Charlotte's Web." This alludes to the fact that the robots of this dark future are in fact controlled by the cyrogenetically frozen body of Walt Disney, who went crazy after watching 'Bambi' one too many times..." Snickering to himself, Wyvern picks up the picture containing the confined pigs and snorts: "Interesting... I never realized Melba was raised on a farm, but that face peeking out of the lower lefthand corner of this picture is undoubtedly her. I actually believe this was a cut scene scene from 'The Matrix' when, after Neo had learned Kung Fu, he wanted to learn farming and the art of piggyback riding..." Finally, turning to the picture of the chickens, Wyvern raises a brow and mutters: "Ahhhhh yes... Zool showed me this picture previously, I believe. It's the chicken plantation right before Zool's rubber chicken got stuck in the fabric of the machinery and the entire plantation went haywire..." Wyvern smirks at his findings, then bows his head to Thinas and stamps the honorable dark elf's application "ACCEPTED." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Thinas, welcome to the Mighty Pen! Though I normally prefer stories or poetry, this was a very creatively thought out and well written piece of analysis that certainly deserves acceptance. Be sure to either post your e-mail address here or send me a mail at elitwack90@hotmail.com so I can send you some additional Pen info. Welcome once again... I'm very glad you decided to apply, and apologize for the lateness of my response.

Wyvern sighs and humbly bows to Degenero Angelus, very sorry to see a venerable Pen member leave and apologizing for elements of the community that may have offended him. Patting Deg on the back and shaking his hand firmly, the overgrown lizard rubs his scaly chin in contemplation and wishes Deg the best while directing posters towards the thread... Manners and Consideration Required reading for all people that haven't seen it yet.

As Wyvern and Smii gleefully prance through the Forest of Wixiebear in search of faerie dragon nests, Rydia carps the mechanical Wyvern-bot one final time, dealing it it's death blow. There is a collective sigh of relief in the office as the repititive voice of the robot dims to nothing more than a low groan before fading out entirely... Rydia turns towards Tzimfemme and smiles cheerfully as Minta races to the remains of the decoy Wyvern, poking at it's mechanical tale and wondering if it would make a good skelly toy. At the filing cabinet in the corner of the office, Rosemary stops her skimmings at the profile of the member Heart like a Hole, sensing a strong spiritual essence from that particular sheet... Suddenly, there is a brief knock at the office door and it's opened by none other than the Almost Secretary of Initiates, Melba... Surely, if Peredhil and Jechum were the Pen's genteel pirahnas, and Wyvern it's greedy barracuda, then Melba was it's gargantuan, ill-tempered octopus. Tzimfemme, Rydia, and Minta all stop in their activities as Melba enters, uncertain of quite what to expect from the Almost-Secretary but having heard multiple horror stories about her from Wyvern... Much to the surprise of those present in the office, Melba's jaw drops open and her eyes widen as she notices Tzimfemme sitting in one of the chairs. Pointing a finger at the nekkid mage in awe, Melba quietly murmers: "Tz-Tzimfemme...?" Suddenly, the Almost Secretary's visage brightens considerably and she exclaims: "Tzimfemme! The legendary nekkid mage of Terra... here?! In this office?!" Tzim mutters a humble response of some sort but goes unheard as Melba continues: "Why, you're one of my biggest idols! You're the very symbol of femininity and Terrian independence! I've been a huge fan of nekkid mages since day one! See, I even have the logo written somewhere..." With that, Melba begins to undo her shirt to show just how much she's a fan of nekkid mages, but is fortunatly interrupted by Tzimfemme, who frantically waves her hands in front of her in a distraught manner to get her to stop. The Nekkid One sighs as Melba runs out of the office to get several things that she wanted to have signed, wondering how much more of this torture she'd have to endure before the overgrown lizard arrived... *** Bushes rustle and twigs crack violently as Wyvern and Smii run at full speed through the Forest of Wixiebear, the two adventurers covered in egg yolks and numerous scratches. Wyvern clenches his teeth and gasps for breath as he glances over his shoulder only to see that the enormous mother faerie dragon that had been angered by their snooping was still in hot pursuit... They had been chased for nearly 20 minutes now by this huge beast after having searched several nests for their mystery animal, to no avail... Smii swiftly dives behind a tree as Wyvern curses and slips on some werebear dung, falling into a werebear den that housed no fewer than 7 werebears while still being chased by the faerie dragon mother. Stuttering to himself and deciding that at least it couldn't get any worse, the lizard suddenly realizes that his camera casing is made of werebear hide and that he's sitting in a puddle of ice cold water. The werebears and faerie dragon mother growl simultaneously as Wyvern silently says his prayers... Suddenly, the growls and anger of the animals surrounding Wyvern are interrupted as the echo of a loud voice rings throughout the forest: "Wyvern!!! Where the hell are you??!!!!" Though the Forest of Wixiebear was located a considerable distance from the Pen, Tzimfemme's exclamation had travelled far and wide and had penetrated into it's depths... Upon hearing the angery tone of the echoing voice, the faerie dragon mother and the werebears immediatly run away from Wyvern's clearing in fear, leaving the overgrown lizard solitary in his puddle of water. The reptilian Elder lifts himself from his position, snickering to himself about his sudden streak of good fortune and deciding to head back towards the Pen before promptly falling into a nearby pit of scorpions... *** The Sun has begun setting below the hills of Terra by the time Wyvern finally arrives at his office, covered in slimy egg yolk and reeking of werebear dung. It takes several minutes before the lizard can manage to get into the office, as Melba at first refuses to allow him to enter in his current condition with the presence of her idol. Fortunatly, Wyvern's smell finally gets the best of the Almost Secretary, and she recedes to her desk in the corner of the office. Waving to Tzimfemme, Rydia, Minta, and Rosemary, the lizard stamps their application forms ACCEPTED before collapsing wearily into unconsciousness at his desk... OOC: Certainly ACCEPTED Quin'... though we've all accepted and appreciated your marvelously creative presence at the Pen for a long time now. I'll think of a little 'bonus' something to go along with this acceptance as soon as my tiredness wears off and my creative cogs get spinning again... Keep up the good writing, and rest assured that Melba is far from your only huge fan. ;p

Flailing around the outskirts of the grove blindly, the outline of a man clutches his head in pain and tears his eyes away from those of the luminous object above, sobbing uncontrollably and growing increasingly unaware of his immediate surroundings. One of the figure's feet comes in contact with a blurry obstruction embedded in the soil and he tumbles, falling... "... in love" The curly haired man looks towards his feet, wiping off the droplets of pouring rain that glistened on his face and coughing abruptly at his friend's statement. Spitting at the ground and briefly shaking off his soaked cloak, the man bravely turns towards his associate's countenance only to be met by a half hazy visage... The rain was pouring down so hard that it seemed to distort his friend's face, creating a twisted image of the man he once knew... the man he thought he knew. On the other side of the veil of rain now rested a complete stranger, foreign to the ways and nature of the individual he had once been acquainted with. "She's... unbelievable." murmers the distorted stranger, raising a blurry arm to his hair and brushing the cold wetness out of it. The mirage of a man looks towards his curly haired associate as he hears him respond: "Those are strong words... you shouldn't take them lightly." The blurry man laughs coldly. "In what position are you to tell me what to do? I think that you're the one who shouldn't be taking things lightly... don't forget your social position. I can dispose of you at any time I wish... strip you of all your precious books in a blink of an eye." The soaked listener goes silent and nods as the blurry figure snarls and rubs a hand over a tattoo that gleamed vividly on his right cheek, adding: "We have another guild meeting tommorow, don't be late." "I won't..." responds the curly haired man, turning and walking away from the man with the tattooed cheek and heading towards the blurry image of a tavern. "... I promise" Clawing at the dirt and grime where he had fallen, the shadow of a man grits his teeth at the visions, fighting them with the little willpower that remains in his soul. The mysterious figure looks towards his hands, their faint red tinge now mingled with an ocean of brown and black. Several tiny eight legged creatures crawl out of the spot where his hands had fought with the dirt, swiftly moving up his arms and legs, attaching themselves to his form. But the man didn't care... ... for his friend's books. Something about them bothered him, whether it was the dusty hardback bindings or the strange images depicted on their ancient covers. Extending a finger and tracing it over a black dragon emblem that marked one of the many tomes, the man raises an eyebrow as he reads the title of the text that he touches out loud. "Necromancy and the Arts of Black Magic...?" mutters the figure, turning to his curly haired friend who sits at a nearby desk. "Is this what you've been intensely studying all this time?" The curly haired man nods calmly, taking a sip from a cup of herbal tea that rests near his hands. "I thought your guild decided that all this black magic stuff was a bunch of ludicrous suppositions?" "They did, but I disagreed..." responds the voice of the curly haired form, finishing his tea "In fact, I find it terribly fascinating." The man touching the tome shakes his head in disbelief, responding: "I hate to see you wasting your time on things like this, studying sleepless nights. As your friend, I'd like you to stop..." "Never." interrupts the man immediatly, clenching his empty tea cup tightly while concealing his rage. He knew the truth... he knew that the only one's fooling themselves were his friend and his associates in the guild. "Associates" indeed! Those careless vagabonds would slit one anothers throats without hesitation as soon as the opportunity arose. The curly haired man's friend sighs and turns from the books he had previously touched, exiting the peacefull library... lost to it's calm and peacefullness forever...

Just to clarify for you, Salinye, both "Cowboy Bebop" and "Neon Genesis Evangelion" are highly reclaimed (and rightfully so!) anime series that have recieved a good amount of exposure in the U.S. Though "Evangelion" is a dark futuristic drama and "Cowboy Bebop" is a more lighthearted sci-fi action piece, they're both superb and highly recommended. It's interesting that people should bring up the ending of "Evangelion," since it's something I've contemplated before as well. "Neon Genesis Evangelion" is my favorite anime series, and though I don't know if I completely understood the ending of the series, I did appreciate the fact that Gainax decided to do something abstract and different. Though I haven't seen any of the "Evangelion" movies, I've heard that they were made simply because fans were pissed by the ending of the series and demanded that Gainax did something more simple... Supposedly, the movies are even more depressing than some of the final episodes of the series, and end in an equally abstract yet more depressing manner. Personally, when all's said and done, I think they ended the T.V series well... my only complaint would be that the final two episodes were not too flashy on the animation side of things, since there were lots of still frames. My personal favorite episode of "Evangelion" was the episode with the shadow angel that engulfs Shinji... when Misato slapped Ritsuki for mentioning the importance of the Evas over Shinji's life, I practically gave a standing ovation... ;p

Tzimfemme lets out an irritated sigh as she begins filling out the numerous forms and questionnaires that lay on the desk before her, staring in disbelief at the audacity of some of the questions the reptilian Elder of Initiates dared to ask Pen applicants. A long drawn out math problem involving the calculation of a geld inheritence from a tax collector's death and the amount of time it would take for that geld to be illegaly transferred to Wyvern's bank account struck her as particularly irrelevent for those in search of creativity... In addition, it seemed that in every other question she had to decline another "free" Almost Dragonic product offer (she knew very well by this point that Wyvern's interpretation of the word "free" was a rather twisted one... and besides, his products always ended up causing more burdens than boons). Frowning at the lack of an "abstain" option for a multiple choice question concerning blood types, Tzimfemme snarls and scans the office for any sign of Wyvern, only to once again take note of the greedy lizard's absence... As the nekkid mage continues filling out Pen application forums, Minta Rose joyfully skips in circles around Wyvern's cluttered mess of a desk, slapping a palm upon the office bell and ringing it at the end of each of her cyclical rotations. Pulling out a pixy stick from one of her many back pockets, Minta skips and slaps the bell for the twentieth time only to be greeted by an unexpected triggered effect. As the bell rings for the twentieth time, a trap door in the ceiling opens directly above Wyvern's desk chair and what is obviously a decoy robotic Wyvern drops into out of it. Rydia, who had been carelessly doodling a picture of Starlight on scrap paper with a shiny magic marker, turns her head towards the form of the robotic lizard and eyes it curiously. Tzimfemme and Minta do likewise while Rosemary doesn't take note of the decoy's entrance, the latter being preoccupied with examining the strands of spiritual essence present within Wyvern's filing cabinet. Awkwardly turning it's head towards the applicants in an automated manner, the Wyvern-bot raises a metallic hand and manages to murmer "Greet-in-" before it starts to malfunction due to it's extremely cheap fabrication. A spring goes loose in the neck socket of the robot and it's head promptly flies off in a sudden explosion of metal and sparks (which Rydia admires in their shiny beauty). An automatic speech program suddenly starts up in the remains of the robot, and the phrase "all your geld are belong to me" begins repeating itself in a monotonous robotic tone. It's only a matter of minutes before this repetitive statement begins to become annoying, and Rydia quickly fishes through her garments in search of the anti-spam carp. The quill that Tzimfemme is writing with trembles on the page where she holds it and eventually snaps in two, the quick temper of the nekkid mage getting the best of her. Gritting her teeth and turning towards the office window, Tzimfemme angrily shouts: "Wyvern!!! Where the hell are you??!!!!" *** Standing near the center of the Forest of Wixiebear and completely unaware of the arrival of new applicants in his office, Wyvern proudly takes a large gulp from his Decanter of Endless Booze and an enormous whiff of the fresh air surrounding him... immediatly gagging and choking due to the distinctive smell of werebear manure present in said air. Quickly recovering from this nasty odor, Wyvern brushes the dust off of his khaki shirt and Summer shorts, feeling that he is one with his surroundings and in complete control of nature as a civilized being... Holding his binoculars up to his face in the wrong direction, the overgrown lizard tries to figure out why everything gets smaller rather than larger when he looks through them... "Blasted contraption!" curses Wyvern, tossing his binoculars to the ground and jumping up and down on them in a fit of rage. "Why do they have to make these things so damn complicated?!" After he's vented his anger, Wyvern turns to his forest guide, a troglyodyte that wears dark sunglasses and loads of cheap deoderant, and asks: "So Smii... have you found any of these mysterious tracks you informed me of yet?" The troglyodyte nods, adjusting his sunglasses and pointing towards a print in the ground that rests directly next to Wyvern's feet. Unknown to both Smii and Wyvern, the print had actually been made by Minta Rose when she had pogo-sticked through the area earlier... Grinning to Wyvern, the forest guide hisses: "Yessss indeeds Mr. Wyvsern, one of thems can be ssseen right at your feets. I've never ssseen anythings like'em... it MUSSST be a new breed of animal! The beassst ssseems to only have one leg to move on, and seemsss to leave a ssstrange trail of sugar behind it whenever it moves." Wyvern nods to this, noticing a trail of multicolored sugar appearing wherever the "animal" tracks are present. "If we discover this new breed of animal, I'll -errr- we'll become rich and famous!!!" exclaims Wyv while carefully loading his camera. "Any ideas on how we might be able to track this thing down?" Grinning, Smii nods and responds: "Yessss, I have one... most of the tracks I've found ssseem centered around faerie dragon nestsss... that must be the animal's prey! All we need to do is search around the nesssts until we find the beassst!" With that, Wyvern and Smii turn and grin to one another before excitedly heading off in the direction of the nearest faerie dragon nest... OOC: This is the first installment of the application response. To be continued soon... ;-)

Wyldpatienz sits patiently in his applicant easychair while simultaneously growing more and more wild by the minute... The applicant had applied in the hopes of becoming a Pen member a week ago, but the reptilian Elder of Initiates Wyvern had yet to arrive at the office to fufill his duties as the Pen's recruiter... Twiddling his fingers nervously and wondering if the rather abstract and sensual nature of his application had caused Wyvern to deliberatly avoid entering the Office at all, the worried applicant lifts himself from his seat and is about to wander out towards the main hall to express his concerns when Wyvern suddenly dashes into the room through the main entrance. Nodding to wyldpatiencz and giving him a scaly thumbs up, the lizard swiftly grabs the miniature story application out of wyldpatienz's hands and reads it over several times thoroughly. Raising a curious brow at several points in the story and muttering something about symbolism, the overgrown lizard sets the application down on his desk top and happily exclaims: "Interesting application, wyldpatienz... certainly worthy of acceptance, though I might want to propose a few things to you first." Having said this, he overgrown lizard whips out a cash register and several large boxes, grinning and hissing greedily to himself. Pointing to a box located directly at his right, the geld-obsessed Elder hisses: "You mention that the woman of the piece has a husky voice... well, that can be cured! Introducing: new and improved Wyvie Wash™! It's the ultimate mouth wash and voice smoothener!" With that, Wyvern reaches into the box to his right and pulls out a large flask, handing it to the startled Pen application. Looking at the label on the back of the bottled liquid, wyldpatienz reads: Wyvie Wash: turns voices sounding like sand on silk to silk on sand, or something along those lines. Warning: voices after consuming this product may also sound like fingers across a black board.. Wyldpatienz turns the strange looking bottle in his hands for a moment, and is about to decline Wyvern's offer when the overgrown lizard suddenly whips out a few more products from the numerous boxes surrounding him and exclaims: "For the 'need of younger days', I have some left over Wyvie Wype™ youth inducing formulas! For your future pale yellow charge needs, I have this half-broken yellow lava lamp that was only used once by an Ancient Pen towel salesman! I also have some prerecorded hushed expectancies if you need some of those... and gifts! Let's not forget the gifts...!" Much to wyldpatienz's dismay, Wyvern's sales rantings go on for a few hours in this way... The poor applicant is continuously handed products during this time, and the end result is his being practically buried in a mountain of Wyvern Incorporated merchandise. After wyldpatienz has turned down all of the overgrown lizard's overcharged sales attempts, Wyvern sighs and stamps wyld's application ACCEPTED. ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application, wyldpatienz, welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies for the lateness of my response... Be sure to either post your e-mail address here or mail me at elitwack90@hotmail.com so that I can send you some additional Pen info.

Wyvern stops for a moment and turns his attention from his desperate attempts to flee from the Almost-Secretary of Initiates towards Solivagus' final comment. Turning curiously towards the newly Initiated member, the overgrown lizard clears his throat of a few ashes and responds: "Thanks for the e-mail address, Solivagus... Most interesting that you show uneagerness to write after applying to a board where an application and membership are meant to imply a general eagerness to write and contribute to the community! I guess we now have a full spectrum of posters..." Having said this, Wyvern briefly reminds the newly Initiated of his promise to not post things archived under different alias' on different boards, gives him an official Pen handshake™, and offers him a left over Pen Soaker-126 water gun for only a couple hundred geld...

Standing in the middle of the Recruiter's Office, Damon Inferel patiently watches the large ocean of papers located next to Wyvern's desk, taking note of even the slightest movement present within their depths in the hopes of seeing the overgrown lizard emerge. Damon's eyes dart towards a squirt of ink that exits from a rather messy paper cluster near the rear end of the office, and quickly turn to their right in time to see a small eraser in the shape of a dolphin hop out of the paper clusters. Carefully eyeing a spot on the ocean of papers that seemed to be twitching more than it's surroundings, Damon Inferel grins and grabs a fishing rod that lays next to Wyvern's desk. Attaching her application to the end of the fishing line along with a single geld piece as bait, the eager applicant tosses the line out towards the twitching area of the paperwork ocean... It's only a matter of seconds before Damon gets a pull on her line, and happily pulls the reptilian Elder of Initiates out of the paperwork depths... Brushing off several pieces of scrap paper from his scaly form and removing his sanity snorkle, Wyvern smiles towards Damon and hisses: "Thanksss! I was a bit stuck over there, the textbook coral rocks had gotten rather jagged. Glad to see you've decided to apply, Damon, lemme see your application..." Damon Inferel giggles to herself a moment before pointing towards Wyvern's face and responding: "It's in your mouth..." Upon hearing this, Wyvern opens his mouth and pulls out Damon's application poem from it, having forgotten that she had used it as bait. Grinning and nodding towards the eager applicant, the overgrown lizard reads the application over a few times and notices something at the top of the application sheet that causes him to break into an evil grin and malicious giggles. Damon notices this change in Wyv's reactions, and in a worried voice asks: "What's the matter, Mr. Wyvern?" The overgrown lizard turns to her, trying to keep as straight a face as possible, and flatly responds: "I notice you mentioned that Emily Dickenson is one of your long time idols... Well, I'm certain you'll like it here at the Pen, as Ms. Dickenson is a frequent contributer!" Damon's eyes widen and she stutters: "B-but... that's not possi-" "APRIL FOOOOOOL'S!" interrupts Wyvern gleefully, pointing towards the date listed at the top of the application and letting out an almost-dragonic laugh that echoes through the otherwise silent Office. Once the sinister lizard notices that no one else is laughing, he suddenly realizes the mistake he had made... Damon had posted her application on April 1rst, but Wyv had taken over a week to respond, meaning that the laws of April Fool's Day no longer applied. Grumbeling to himself and trying to think of an excuse to make the joke funny, Wyvern stutters: "Th-the confusion of dates... i-it's supposed to be part of the joke! Yeah, that's it!" "..." Sighing to himself in the realization that his would-be April Fool's prank had failed miserably, Wyvern stamps Damon Inferel's application "ACCEPTED" before grasping the nearest "Anti-Wyvern" mallet and bonking himself over the head with it a few times. After all, that always inspired a laugh or two... ;p OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Damon Inferel, welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies for the long tardiness in accepting this application, the steel grasp of RL is once again to blame. Be sure to either post your e-mail address here or send me another mail at elitwack90@hotmail.com so that I can get you some additional Pen info. Once again, welcome!

Gwaihir reads over the letter that Wyvern had stamped "URGENT" as he enters into the Cabaret Room of the Pen, once again grumbling to himself about the overgrown lizard's nearly illegible handwriting. Apparently, the reptilian Elder wanted to meet with Gwai so that he could place him into intense training for the upcoming Orlan application response fiasco, which he had strangely labeled "Project: Retrieval 4.028376%"... The Ancient Friend of Wiggly Cabbages sighs to himself, noting that the overgrown lizard had never asked him if he had wanted to be a part of this project, but also noting that the lizard rarely asked for anything... except geld, of course... and back scratches.... and food.... and... Gwai stops reading Wyvern's letter shortly to glance around the Cabaret Room, and is surprised to find that it is both empty and silent. Raising a brow and shrugging to himself, the Ancient turns to depart from the room, figuring that Wyvern would once again be extremely late for his rendezvous... Much to the Ancient's surprise, no sooner has he turned his back to the room then the lights suddenly fly on and an enormous arrangement of multicolored wiggly cabbages with letters painted on them becomes illuminated. When put together, the letters read: SURPRISE! :wigglycabbage: Underneath this arrangement of cabbages stands Wyvern grinning one of his razor tooth grins. The overgrown lizard points to the wiggly cabbages above him and happily exclaims: "Happy birthday Gwaihir! The whole "Project: Retrieval 4.0238376%" was just a gimmick to get you over here to the Cabaret Room and surprise you... (though I do hope you'll still participate). Best of wishes!" Having said this, Wyvern grins and admires the cabbages above him, noting: "You know, these cabbages make great cheap birthday decorations!" Upon hearing this, the cabbages arranged on the wall all nod to one another and simultaneously turn their backs to Wyvern, mooning him. On the cabbages' backs is written: "Wyvern is such a dolt for thinking he can use us in such ways and not suffer any consequences!" :wigglycabbage: OOC: A very happy 20th birthday to you, Rachel-igliogliogegliogi! ;-)

Wyvern dashes into the Assembly Room the moment he hears a strangely familiar voice mentioning the steady flowing of geld... Entering into the large Hall expecting to find yet another scheming opportunity, Wyvern stops short in his path as he recognizes the reclaimed form of the Patron Saint of Haikus, Finnius. Rubbing his eyes and pinching a scale to make sure he isn't dreaming, the overgrown lizard stands in amazement for a good five minutes while gazing towards the legendary Blue Man of Terra... After the reptilian Elder has fully recovered from his state of shock, this emotion is replaced with some genuinely scary almost-dragonic joy. Grinning a full grin of razor sharp teeth, Wyvern throws his arms in the air and exclaims: "Finnius! This is one heck of a pleasant surprise! I'm very glad to see that you've managed to return to writing and have found the Mighty Pen!" Having said this, Wyvern rushes up Finnius and gives him several friendly handshakes... The Blue Man anxiously turns a hand towards his wallet and loose change, recalling the wilely ways of Wyvern quite vividly, but is surprised to find that the lizard doesn't make a single gest towards his currency... Pouring a tall glass of Bruteweiser ™ booze from the Endless Decanter and handing it to Finnius, the overgrown lizard hisses: "Sorry to hear you've been through some hard times... It seems your quality of writing hasn't changed in the slightest... it remains excellent!" With that, Wyvern turns in the direction that Peredhil is pointing and zooms off towards the currently overflowing Recruiter's Office, a stream of I.O.Us flying out of his pockets as he does so... OOC: Welcome back Finnius! A number of us have certainly missed you, and this is very good news indeed.

Solivagus sighs impatiently to himself, tapping his right foot on the ground in an irritated manner while gazing towards the messy desk on which Wyvern currently rests his head. The overgrown lizard lies fast asleep at the cluttered desk, snoring loudly while occasionaly hissing or mumbling something about mountains of geld under his breath. Solivagus had tried to awaken the greedy lizard by several methods, including snapping a finger next to his face, poking and shaking him several times, and clobbering him over the head with a Wyvern Inc. Brand Baseball Bat (which broke after only a few hits). The eager applicant had finally given up in the hopes that the Elder of Initiates would awaken from his slumber soon, but unfortunatly this seemed to be far from the case. Several days had passed, and Wyvern hadn't even budged an eyelid... Practically tearing his hair out in frustration, Solivagus finally lifts himself from his applicant easychair and heads towards the exit of the office in dismay when suddenly, Melba the Almost Secretary of Initiates comes hobbling into the chamber from the main office entrance. The obese Almost-Secretary is covered from head to toe in an unidentifiable slimy substance she had encountered in the Lady's Restroom of the Mighty Pen... at a glance, one might suppose that she had been involved in a large pie tossing contest of some sort. Clenching her teeth and growling while glaring angrily at the peacefull form of Wyvern slumbering at his desk, Melba takes out a tiny dropper filled with water and advances towards the lizard's napping area. Carefully aiming the dropper directly above the reptilian Elder's head, Melba lets a single droplet of water fall from it and drip lightly onto Wyvern's scales... Much to Solivagus' surprise, Wyvern frantically springs out of his sleep the moment the water touches his scaly forehead. Running in circles around the room while desperatly seeking a towel, Wyvern cries: "Arrrgh!!! Water! Water!!! Get it off of meeeeee!!!" The overgrown lizard finally rushes up to Solivagus and quickly wipes the droplet of water off of his head using the sleeve of the applicant's shirt, stuttering numerous curses under his breath and slowly calming down. Solivagus is rather taken back by this rude action, and is about to protest when Wyvern suddenly points a scaly finger towards the figure of Melba and promptly goes into hysterics again: "Arrrrgh!!! It's the J-E-L-L-O ™ monster from my dream, minus the price tags!" Melba sighs and shakes her head in an irritated manner, afterwards responding: "Actually, it's me, Melba, you overgrown sleezy crook of a wanna-be-dragon." Wyvern considers this response for a moment, then exclaims: "Arrrrrgh!!! It's Melba!!! Even worse!!!" With that, Wyvern dashes towards the exit of the office only to be blocked by Solivagus, who is determined to get a verdict for his application. The overgrown lizard snatches the eager applicant's story, reads over it, and stamps it ACCEPTED, relating all to well to the difficulties of a demon being maliciously evil... ;p OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Solivagus, welcome to the Mighty Pen! Be certain to either post your e-mail address here or mail me at elitwack90@hotmail.com, so that I can send you some additional Pen info...

Wyvern dashes into the Cabaret Room, wishing Valdar, Astralis and Aardvark happy birthdays. The overgrown lizard reaches into a large sack he carries and pulls out a box of extra-shiny/sparkly fireworks along with an envelope containing a certificate to accompany Wyv on an evil scheme and hands them to Valdar & Astralis. The reptilian elder then reaches into his sack again, searches in it for a bit, and pulls out an enigma which he hands to Aardvark. Saluting the birthday folks once again, Wyvern dashes out of the Cabaret Room while letting out a gale of manical laughter... OOC: A very happy birthday to Valdar & Astralis + Aardvark. Best wishes to you all!

Argh... just when I thought I could take this thing down, it seems I may need it up for a bit longer. I've started writing up my next app responses, but no telling how long it will take with the flow of current applicants. Solivagus, Damon Infernel, wyldepatienz, Quincunx, and Thinas... your patience is greatly appreciated! With a bit of luck, I should be able to respond to everything by the end of this weekend. Having said this, Wyvern sniffles some magma trailing down his reptilian nostrils before quickly rushing out of the room to the nearest bomb test site in his need to sneeze...

I echo what others have said, Tralla, in that I've enjoyed this story immensely so far. The amount of effort you've put into refining the details of the piece is very apparent, as the scenes and images are vividly portrayed throughout. My favorite scene so far is the one in which Rhib is severely punished by Fallik for accidentaly spilling the water on Temke, as it's the scene that most clearly displays the malicious rage and corrupted nature of the Falliks towards the children of the orphanage. Like Lumpen, I love the setting of the piece... it's both original and intriguing. I would choose a favorite character, but it's a bit too early in the story for that... As for things to improve thus far, nothing immediatly struck my eye. One minor thing that might have the potential of being improved is the first break in the story, which is in the first post directly after the sentence "That's right. Weep, my little dove. I'll always be here. I promise." Though this is seperated by two spaces unlike the other paragraphs to signify a break in the action, you might want to put a little something else inbetween, such as a "***", as when I first read it I was left confused by the abrupt change in action. I'm sure I'll have more comments as the story progresses, and am definitely looking forward to a continuation. Excellent work!

Yeah, you have to stop! That's the bottom line! Think you're heads gonna fly off? It's already on Cloud Nine Dreaming of a chance to come close to my wit and class But better back up cus I'm bout to bring the damage fast Yo, better watch out for those woods... that place has poison ivy Like the venom in this verse, it'll kill you through torture, try me! The only thing your damaging with your verses is your own career As an M.C, though there was really never one there to begin with! Yeah, cus I'm just getting started with the vicious lines It's high time I broke your ego, taught you how to rhyme If you want an audience to rap to, a mirror's over there But better watch out... your reflection'll leave it impaired Try to size up against this verse and you'll end up 6 feet under I got my lucky Rabbit's foot, it's Mr. Bunny's, you just blunder! Trying to come up with something clever but matching the wits of Dubya Bush Can't front on this assualt, I'll leave you gooey like mush So next time the Big Pointy Stick from the tree That's withered and dying without no ceremony Wants to battle the mighty Wyvmettic He may have to rethink his style... cus it's pathetic! (once again, no offense, tis all in the good fun of battling! ;p Bleh, that "never really one there" line didn't fit at all... ;p)

The mattress and bed curtains of the lavishly furnished sleeping quarters glow with an opaque whiteness in the light of the candles that burn steadily on a wall nearby, their flickering flames waving back and forth in response to even the slightest breath or movement. The entire chamber is bathed in scents of expensive perfume and sweat, and the hazy mirror in the corner of the room reflects upon a small portion of a woman's beautifull form... Her breathing can be heard, steady and confident, every exhalation beckoning to be savored. Closer listening reveals the beating of her heart, steady as well, though palpitating every time he smiles, every time he runs a soft hand across her cheek or through her hair. The two figures smile affectionatly, entranced with one another, oblivious to everything else. He kneels by the bedside where she sits, as one would before a mighty emperess, the bed curtains concealing the two of them from the outside world... secluding them to their own personal fantasies and desires. An endless dream of kisses and caresses. "... thus you won't leave me? You do realize that if you left, I'd be driven to de-" "Shhhhh..." she whispers gently, holding a quaint finger to his lips and interrupting his thought patterns by beating her beautifull eye lashes. Cupping his head in her hands, she presses it against the region of her nightgown concealing her breasts and lovingly brushes a hand through his hair as she responds: "Eternities shall pass yet we shall remain together, just like this... Emotions cannot lie. Even after shells have disintegrated to dust, love can only be elevated through the soul. I shall always love you, and would never so much as consider such a thing..." They passionately hug and kiss, and... The circular frame of pale radiance was staring at the trembling figure. A face of abject malciousness seemed to be painted over the hovering object's form, an evil sneer that occasionaly quaked, as if ready to burst into wretched laughter. The lone silhouette fumbles along the outskirts of the grove, crying to himself in misery, trying to avoid the all-seeing object's face... it's eyes. Dear God, those eyes! Red, crimson like the flames of a great inferno, wavey and horrid like some ghastly, nightmarish illusion. They pierced at his soul, sliced through his thoughts like a guillotine crafted to destroy sanity... He felt what little peace of soul he had ebbing away, he felt... ... shocked as he read the letter. Indeed, simply trying to grasp the letter's contents was a difficult task for his soul. His friend, the man with the curly hair, had turned to this?! It was impossible, absurd... A bitter sting of betrayal pierces his heart as he reads the two lines that stood out so forcefully over and over again... But then, from the moment he had started the letter, he knew it was filled with envy... remorse as well, perhaps! After all, had he not told his friend to leave the books behind, to abandone them?! Yet he never ceased in his studies, the fool! One day, he would find himself regretting those studies vehemently!!! In an obsessed rage, the man tears the letter he holds into little pieces and immediatly tosses them out of his study window... For a moment, throughout the courtyard of the enraged individual, it snows a concerned friend's sage advice...

Yo, Stick says this and Stick says that But Stick should stay away from them battle raps Unless you want a sticky situation to deal with No hesitation, I'll make your corny lines squeal quick You'd better not stick around, otherwise I'mma stick you With these vicious battle lines that'll hurt you and prick you Better run away now, lest ya wanna get stuck with a name That's sticky like glue, intense the way it came Yeah, this is a stick-up... so through your hands in the air Before I stick this verse into your brain and twist up in there Wanna challenge me? Yo, the only thing big and pointy Is what I'm offering your girl... she's accepting, your straight corny! And sticks vs. swords in battle raps ain't a fair fight So I'm abandonnin you now, go find someone better to bite. Peace!

They were showing "Cowboy Bebop the Movie" this weekend in one theatre in D.C, and though I hadn't been to the movies in ages I decided to go check it out. I had seen large segments of the film via bootleg previously, but hadn't had a chance to view the whole thing from start to finish 'til today. Anyway, it was a very entertaining film, though I'm not sure if non-Bebop fans would like it. Bebop fans should pretty much know what to expect: lots of emphasis on eccentric details, plenty of fist fights, the mandatory flight chase scene, some damn good music, moments of pure comedy, high drama complete with operatic vocals in the background, overwhelming amounts of damage to public property, etc, etc... I saw the dubbed version of the film, and was actually pleasantly surprised by the English dubbing, which was quite good in my opinion (with the exception of the voice of Vincent and the voice of Spike sounding almost identical). My favorite scene of the film was the brilliantly executed train scene, where Spike first confronts Vincent. I really wish they would have left out the last words that come on after the credits! The phrase "Do you really live in this world?" comes off as super-trite philosophical jargon. Also, what was up with all the male characters in the film drooling over Elektra and asking her for dates while practically ignoring Faye?! I mean, let's face it... Faye is about 100 times hotter than Elektra when all's said and done. Plus, Faye has got the spunk that Elektra lacks so badly... In that sense, perhaps Vincent was the most sane character in the film. After all, at least he took note of Faye and asked her to join him! I totally couldn't believe it when Faye tried to seduce the computer-nerd hacker while he was playing the arcade game... he didn't even turn his head towards her! --- Continuing on the subject of films: I saw "8 Mile" on video for the first time this weekend. As an avid hip hop fan, I have mixed feelings about the movie. I feel they could have dropped a few scenes from it and focussed more on the M.C battling elements, which I thought were definitely the highlights of the film. What's interesting is that, although Eminem does come up with some good punchlines in the battles depicted in the film, they pale in comparison to Eminem's actual recorded, live freestyle battles. This goes hand in hand with my opinion of Eminem as a hip hop artist in general: I think he can come off as amazing in freestyle battles, but his recorded/rehearsed material is never anywhere near as good. Another problem with the film is that it might be considered "historically innacurate," as when Eminem enterred Skribble Jam (the largest and most prestigious freestyle battling tournament hosted) and made a name for himself as a battler, he actually lost in the final round against J.U.I.C.E (who remains one of the greatest freestyle battlers today). Ah well... maybe in "8 Mile 2"...? ;p I thought that "8 Mile" was an average film, overall. --- Feel free to add your thoughts or comments on recent film viewings in this thread!

Here's the new anti-war track by Sage Francis, "Hey Bobby", as promised... This track was not featured on "Poetic Justice" as it was recorded and posted on the net the day after Bush declared on Iraq, but it certainly would be on "Poetic Justice" if I had had the chance to put it on there. The track can be downloaded in MP3 format via the following link: http://www.inhalerproductions.com/Hey_Bobby.mp3 "Hey Bobby" Written and performed by Sage Francis. Produced by Joey Beats. www.non-prophets.com Lyrics: By the time the flags rotted off of their antennas, they were questioning who the real threat is. Big Brotherly love is the 21rst Century's plague. No matter how bloody the glove, question evidence displayed. Don't forget what two plus two equals. Don't let them upgrade your math no matter what they have as proof of evil. Remember when they went after the Jewish people? You don't recognize that same black mask as see through? Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head. F*ck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted was a warm bed and a house that wasn't haunted. I'd rather die for a cause than to die just because we exhaust natural resources forced into wars, restoring wasteful ways, keeping other countries poor. "Monkey see, Monkey do" I wonder what those f*cking monkeys saw. Keep rethinking the still-frames in your mind, and guarantee they will change with time. Your outline is pixelated with poor resolution while downtime is simply wasted. You were born execution style. Head first in a trial. I'll second the motion 'Til the jury's bored to death and puts your neck in a notion. The situation's volatile. A naked problem child is trying to find the right clown costume to make his father smile. So he bombs while he tries to tell jokes. This ain't a false alarm, can't you smell the smoke?! You're in the line of fire where they buy and sell votes. Our sense of liberty doesn't ring true, stupid, that's why the bell broke. Trench coat Mafiosos propel rocks at recruitment officers and rebel against cops 'Til they hurdle infinite circles in small cell blocks. Turtle upon turtle 'til they're all shell shocked. This so-called president got elected in a court room. With the war efforts of pops he inherited a fortune. We "talk, talk, talk..." so the veterans of war assume the revolution stopped... [Hook:] "Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days. They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave. "Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave. I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake... I'mma wait until their skin decays." [/End Hook] You can't roam a lost land as the last existing dinosaur. There's no escaping ass kickings in these times of war, Replacing apples with hospitals...where doctors are hostile, Killing two pterodactyls with one fossil. I got you... If they don't fall dead Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in it's bald head. F*ck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted, Was a warm bed... and a house that wasn't haunted. Thumb through novels to have your fingerprints match, The description of criminals committing innocent acts of compassion for tired civilians crawling with pistols, We fired million dollar warning missiles! Force the issues in the back of your head where eyes roll. Brain wash yourself out of that mind control. Or act a fool like you're told. But we won't see no type of justice 'til that bitch removes the blindfold. This ain't a "Love it or leave it," it's a "Change it or lose it." I won't sing the anthem of a nation who never faces the music, Chasing an ever-elusive caveman In space ships that makes trips to the futures that are name-brand. Faking progress...but we ain't advanced Enough to change the posture of our ape stance They've got the key to the city but they prefer the break-in entry. Duck and weave, I'm shedding light in their shadow box to make it empty. [Hook] Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head. F*ck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted was a warm bed... There's nothing scarier than the human stories I tell ghosts, Chilling accounts with my tongue frozen to bed posts. The catharses of carcasses whenever threats are close, Shows a heartlessness that doesn't register on stethoscopes. Sell your hopes for a homeland security chart, 'Til your sense of self is broke and no man's pure in the heart. Preventive detention for the folks who never left home. Tensions have grown into a 24/7 red zone. Scare tactics... have got you under control, The fear factors of a color code. The uppers know They can't hold you down without having anchors attached. "It's all the same." Naw, balls and chains on ankles don't match. So drag your torso back to the off road. We may have lost the fashion battle but we ain't lost the wardrobe. Go window shopping for your next free meal, Cus when we start the revolution all you'll probably do is steal. [Hook]

Gjunon sits patiently in his applicant easychair alongside his two allies Tasslehof and DoomGaze, the three of them distinctly aware of a lack of Pen authorities in the room... Wyvern was extremely late as usual, and the Almost-Secretary of Initiates Melba seemed to be absent as well... Gjunon sighs and swivels in his easychair, growing more and more uneasy about the verdict of his application. He is about to stand up and complain about the seemingly eternal wait when suddenly, the main door to the office swings open and Wacky the Elder Dwarf comes waltzing into the chamber. The semi-insane dwarf wears a large white lab coat that appears to be at least twice his size, and carries a number of colorful lollipops in his right hand. Laughing wildly to himself while turning to Gjunon, Tasslehof, and DoomGaze, Wacky exclaims: "The big red lizard told me I could help out by giving each of you one of these lollipops after the operation!" The three raise their brows curiously at the mentioning of the word "operation" and are about to speak up when suddenly, Wyvern enters into the room pushing a large tray of medical tools and bubbling beakers. The overgrown lizard is dressed in a doctor's outfit, complete with stethoscope and large wallet for cash. Upon seeing this, Tasslehof and DoomGaze immediatly rush for the exit of the room... Unfortunatly, the exit is quickly blocked by Wacky, who is determined to fufill his duty and hand out lollipops after Wyvern has finished operating... Clearing his throat, Wyvern turns to Gjunon, Tasslehof, and DoomGaze before calmly explaining: "I had word that you all had colds of sorts, so I decided I might play the role of doctor for a day and cure them... Gjunon has a heartache, Tasslehof has a slight case of amnesia, and DoomGaze has an evil cough. They're all more or less curable... and besides, whatever happens, I know that us doctors always get paid loads of money no matter what!" With that, Wyvern lets out a sinister laugh as Gjunon and his two allies exhange nervous glances. Quickly picking up a bubbling beaker labeled "Dr. Tzim's fizzy, holy lemonade ®", Wyvern hands it to DoomGaze and encourages him to swallow the liquid in the beaker in one gulp to cure his cough. Wyvern then takes out a miniature mallet and lightly bonks Tasslehof over the head with it, determined that this will cure his slight amnesia. Finally, turning to Gjunon, Wyvern stamps the eager applicant's poem ACCEPTED as a cure for the heartache depicted within... Having done all of this, the overgrown lizard writes up a large bill as the three patients face the wrath of the extremely eager lollipop-donner Wacky... OOC: On a more serious note... An ACCEPTED application, Gjunon, welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies for the lateness of my response, I've been quite busy in RL lately. Be sure to either post your e-mail here or send me a mail at elitwack90@hotmail.com, so that I can send you some additional info. Once again, welcome!

No sooner has Ayshela tossed her fistfull of money onto the bar counter than the "altercation" that Pen members had adjusted the door for comes rushing into the chamber. Wyvern had heard the familiar sound of clinking geld from over a mile a way, and had not hesitated to take several illegal shortcuts through the kitchens of Celes Crusador's cafe' in order to arrive at the Cabaret Room as swiftly as possible. Briefly sniffing at the air, the overgrown lizard makes out the distinct smells of 20 seperate geld pieces, each with their own unique scent. Greedily turning towards the source of the smell, Wyvern spots the newcomer Ayshela at the bar and immediatly rushes over in her direction, snatching a chair from directly where Lumpenproletariat sits and pulling it up next to the Honored Guest. Grabbing Ayshela's right hand with one of his scaly red claws and shaking it vigorously, Wyvern smiles a grin of razor sharp teeth and happily hisses: "Greetings, Ayshela, and welcome to the Mighty Pen! I'm the resident jack-of-all-trades/expert schemer of the community, Wyvern... and as I'm sure anyone here can inform you, your geld is perfectly safe when you invest it with me!" Upon hearing this exclamation, several Pen members present in the room let out groans and grunts of dismay, causing Ayshela to cautiously pull her bag of money closer to her... Grumbling to himself, Wyvern encourages Ayshela to apply for guild membership at his office before raising himself from his seat and rushing back to his regular scheming. ;-)

The death scene of Taleth and the supposed death scene of Squall in FF8 were kind of similar to me since Squall is shot through the chest by Edea's gigantic ice rod and Rinoa immediatly rushes over and starts clawing his body in disbelief (kind of similar to Rysabella), just to clear up why I made that association. ;-) There's actually one other thing I'd have liked to have seen in the story which I forgot to mention in my last post. I think it would have been awesome if at one point in the story, the mortals (i.e Dayane, Orthar, etc.) have a large disagreement with the course of action taken by the above-mortals (i.e Taleth, Mallera, etc.), and for once the mortals turn out to be right. After all, even after several hundred years of conditioning, the occasional slight mistake or miscalculation would be only human... ;-) Once again, great work O! Still replaying this story vividly in my mind... In a word: memorable.

I'm currently out of inspiration for new freestyles, but thought that as long as we were on the subject I might share a few of my favorite battle punchlines from other rappers... I'm sure I'm going to forget some essential ones, but here are a few that immediatly come to mind: "Just because I stand over you doesn't mean you understand me." - Qwel, "Cliche'" "You're fly like crippled ostriches, I scare heads underground!" - Qwel, "Cliche'" "I rap tight, like Seran" - Vast Aire, "Attention Span" "My verses are so dope they should come with two syringes." - J.U.I.C.E, "Freestyle or Written" "You couldn't reach the top if it were in a bad game of Tetris." - J.U.I.C.E, "Wake up Show Freestyle vs. Supernatural" And, though they don't really count as "battling" punchlines: "This is more ironic than getting f**ked over by Virgin Records." - LoDeck, "Rude" "They say a picture's worth a million words... Well, I beg a thousand pardons for each word I've used for personal gains But the letters that float through my head to mold my sentences Could never be contained by your simple picture frames!" -Slug, "Tears for the Sheep" Like I said, these are only a few... Vakill, Rise, and C-Rayz-Walz have some great ones as well... Having said this, Wyvern applauds the many freestylers and plays the role of the backbeat...

Wyvern grins and nods in response to Ethics Gradient's explanation, letting out a nervous chickle every now and then... Turning to the others that had gathered and had been contemplating the riddle, the overgrown lizard lets out an awkward laugh and hisses: "Well... I'm glad that's been settled! Thanks for sharing this riddle with us, Time Ends, it gets better each time I hear it! In fact, I sincerely hope (*cough*topicoftheweek*cough*) that more riddles involving lost money will be brought up!" Having said this, Wyvern winks to Jareena Faye and rapidly departs from the scene, secretly stuffing the dollar he managed to snatch each time he listened to the riddle into one of the back pockets of his tunic...