Wyvern

Since this has been opened for a little more than a week, I think it's high time that the latest madlib be closed and that the results be posted! :-) For this madlib, I used a very sweet post from Degorram in small_scale_mindgames' "Unexpected Barbeque" thread, which I'm a fan of for obvious reasons. ^_- The original post reads as follows: After stealing some words and replacing them with fill-in-the-blanks, a new madlib was formed: And finally, the results of the madlib after being randomly filled in by various pennites: Tanuchan’s Version: Mynx took the stick and looked at it for a long time, mooning visibly. Impressively she put it on the saucer, and, closing her eyes, gave it a bloody turn. It rotated 1.23*10^-9 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Wyvern. Wyvern laughed wolfishly, a slightly hysteric surprising evil laugh. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty ssslow tonight..." Mynx turned her head greedily and stared at Wyvern, feeling her own glasses flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Wyvern on the ear as long as she could and then turned away, face teal, eyes trekked. She would answer no scissors. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to launch. Appy’s Version: Salinye took the pumpkin and looked at it for a long time, scrounging visibly. Weepily she put it on the tree, and, closing her eyes, gave it a shiny(!) turn. It rotated 23 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Mardrax. Mardrax laughed silently, a slightly hysteric loud giggle. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty orange tonight..." Salinye turned her head manically and stared at Mardrax, feeling her own speakers flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Mardrax on the kneecap as pointily as she could and then turned away, face orange, eyes laughing. She would answer no brushes. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to fly. Mardrax’s Version: Appy took the umbrella and looked at it for a long time, raining visibly. Torrentially she put it on the sea, and, closing her eyes, gave it a wet turn. It rotated pi times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Peredhil. Peredhil laughed illustratively, a slightly hysteric keen snigger. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty maniacal tonight..." Appy turned her head haughtily and stared at Peredhil, feeling her own sports trophies flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Peredhil on the ischial bone as skippily as she could and then turned away, face red, eyes jumping. She would answer no “banananas.” She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to cook. Venefyxatu’s Version: Tzimfemme took the boat and looked at it for a long time, burning visibly. Extremely she put it on the plant, and, closing her eyes, gave it a dead turn. It rotated three hundred and twenty times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Lord Panther. Lord Panther laughed clockwise, a slightly hysteric smelly giggle. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty heavy tonight..." Tzimfemme turned her head beautifully and stared at Lord Panther, feeling her own skeletons flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Lord Panther on the toenail as quickly as she could and then turned away, face pink, eyes worked. She would answer no desks. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to shatter. Peredhil’s Version: Tralla took the oscillating beanie cap propeller and looked at it for a long time, osculating visibly. Stingily she put it on the paradigm, and, closing her eyes, gave it a stonking turn. It rotated .00031 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Jechum. Jechum laughed transparently, a slightly hysteric miniscule maniacal laugh. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty baby blue tonight..." Tralla turned her head wearily and stared at Jechum, feeling her own tails flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Jechum on the eyes as highly as she could and then turned away, face puce, eyes defenestrated. She would answer no men. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to fight. Patrick’s Version: Wrenwind took the Mighty Pen and looked at it for a long time, yelling visibly. Haltingly she put it on the internet, and, closing her eyes, gave it a quick turn. It rotated Pi²/6 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Ozymandias. Ozymandias laughed shortly, a slightly hysteric nihilistic piercing laugh. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty queer tonight..." Wrenwind turned her head longingly and stared at Ozymandias, feeling her own keyboards flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Ozymandias on the little toe as clearly as she could and then turned away, face very pink, eyes seen. She would answer no fields. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to chat. Kikuyu’s Version: Degorram took the squeaky duck and looked at it for a long time, stalking visibly. Haltingly she put it on the bell, and, closing her eyes, gave it a sultry turn. It rotated 42 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Wyvern >.<. Wyvern laughed quickly, a slightly hysteric red evil laugh. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty wicked tonight..." Degorram turned her head sneakily and stared at Wyvern, feeling her own leaves flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Wyvern on the 0_0 … hand as darkly as she could and then turned away, face blue, eyes jumped. She would answer no twins. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to giggle. Degorram’s Version: Kikuyu took the rock and looked at it for a long time, sitting visibly. Quickly she put it on the cloud, and, closing her eyes, gave it a fat turn. It rotated seven times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Peredhil. Peredhil laughed slyly, a slightly hysteric kind chuckle. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty perturbed tonight..." Kikuyu turned her head gruffly and stared at Peredhil, feeling her own hats flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Peredhil on the ear as bluntly as she could and then turned away, face teal, eyes rolling. She would answer no giraffes. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to fly. Mynx’s Version: Tanuchan took the stuffed toy and looked at it for a long time, crying visibly. Annoyingly she put it on the mirror, and, closing her eyes, gave it an ugly turn. It rotated 42 times before it began to slow down and finally inch to a stop. And of course. It landed in front of Wyvern. Wyvern laughed hesitantly, a slightly hysteric cruel bray. "W-well, I guess I'm pretty frustrated tonight..." Tanuchan turned her head violently and stared at Wyvern, feeling her own knives flare. Might as well get it over with... she thought hotly. Leaning over she kissed Wyvern on the throat as blatantly as she could and then turned away, face red, eyes crashed. She would answer no sicophants. She was too afraid that talking would disrupt the extremely difficult job of trying not to break. Thanks to everyone who participated, and to Degorram for the inspiration.

The game grew great with crypto's geld, his shiny metals Wyvern smelled. And thus the reptile schemed anew though lacking poem babes and brew. ... (hint hint)

Gravia sighs and taps his fingers on the armrests of his applicant easychair, staring across the mess of paperwork that clutters the Recruiter's Office and noting that his Pen application has yet to budge an inch on the Elder of Initiate's desk. He sighs and glances over at the Office's Rolodex clock for a moment, raising a brow as the various memos and scheme lists tacked to the appliance fail to hide the lateness of the hour. Gravia grumbles and lifts himself from his seat, certain that something must have happened to the Elder of Initiates given the hour, and turns to exit the Office with a huff of annoyance. The sound of a window slamming open makes him pause at the Office door, however, and he turns in time to see a mass of crimson scales collapse in with the draft of the breeze. Wyvern lifts himself from the floor with a stressful hiss, hurriedly brushing the various papers from his scales and revealing his cheap Almost Dragonic Brand excuse for a formal blue recruitment outfit. The overgrown lizard raises a claw to Gravia and strikes a sheepish toothy grin, then checks his tail stinger to make sure that his madlib response sheets are still attached before wandering up to the applicant. "Greetingssss Gravia, apologies for the ssslight delay." Wyvern glances over at the Rolodex Office clock, then clears his throat and sticks another memo over it in the hopes of completely covering the hour hand. "You wouldn't believe the different ways that the press can put a spin on innocent products like Almost Dragonic Brand Ball and Chain Mail Letters™... I mean, whoever heard of dented mail box fines?" Wyvern grumbles to himself and shakes his head, then spreads his wings slightly and bows to Gravia with a grin. The reptilian Elder hops his way back through the various paperwork obstacles that cover the Office floor until he reaches his desk. He plucks Gravia's application poem delicately from its position, flapping it in the air for a moment before skimming over it with his beady eyes. "Thankssss for the application by the way, Gravia." Wyvern takes out a red pen and begins marking up notes on the poem sheet, not noticing Gravia's concerned expression as he scribbles. "I can definitely feel the enthusiasssm here, just gimme a sec..." Wyvern finishes marking up the last stanza of the poem, then rubs the leaky red ink from his claws onto his tunic and turns his eyes towards Gravia. "Nicely done here, Gravia." Wyvern taps the application sheet with one of his claws, tearing it a bit in the process. "A couple thingsss I wanna touch upon before I lay down the acceptance stamp on any of this. Firssst of all, in answer to your question in the second stanza, I would indeed like to bet with you on the whole growth element. As a matter of fact, I even have a little contract written up for it." Wyvern pulls out a loaded document that measures at at least 40 pages in length and passes it to Gravia, along with the leaky red pen and an Almost Dragonic Brand Flattened Faerie Bookmark™. "The document details my 10,000 geld bet that you will grow in this community. Jussst ignore the fine print about the various definitions of growth and sign pages 3, 16, and 30 if you would." Wyvern's forked tongue flickers in and out as he watches Gravia's skeptical expression. "Oh, and if you're going to flip a coin to see if you join, pleassse flip it into that Recruiter's Office Tips jar over there. That'd be great." Wyvern reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a stamp, then promptly labels Gravia's application ACCEPTED. He places the sheet on top of the 40-page bet legality document with a wink. "Now, pertaining to the final ssstanza of your poem, I was wondering if I might offer you a couple of Almost Dragonic Brand Ball and Chain Mail Letters™ at a ssspecial sales price of only 180 geld a piece." Wyvern reaches under his desk and pulls up a heavy metal ball with a post-it note attached, grunting as he barely manages to set it onto his desktop. "*Pant* contrary to popular belief *pant,* they're perfectly sssafe around mail boxes." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application poem, gravia. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! :-) I hope that you find us a friendly and open-minded community to share your writing with, and look forward to reading more of your works as well as hopefully collaborating with you in community events. Once again, welcome!

Last night, I went and saw Awol One, Trey Loc, Paraiah, and MC Philosophy at the Element Lounge in San Francisco. The show started way later than it should have, with the first act taking the stage at 11:45 PM (a 2 hour and 30 minute delay from the door time). Very few people were present at the Element Lounge, and most of them seemed to be friends of the various performers. There were a definitely a few die-hard Awol One fans in attendance as well, though, along with a couple of excellent breakers who were showing off their dance moves. MC Philosophy was the first to perform, and he brought the bay area collective Bayliens on stage with him. They unfortunately more or less lived up to their trite names with a pretty mediocre set, though the freestyle that the Bayliens kicked at the end was fairly good. Their beats seemed party-oriented, which is always nice in a club setting, but the rhymes didn't impress me much and nothing really stood out about them. Paraiah came on stage next with a short set that didn't feel very professional and was even less impressive than MC Philosophy's set. I got the impression that it was Paraiah's first time performing, as he seemed very worried and worked up over technical sound difficulties. Aside from a few of his friends in the front row, no one seemed that interested in watching him perform. And I can see why... his music struck me as generic, and I found him somewhat boring despite the brevity of his performance. Next up to the stage was Trey Loc, who upped the quality of the show with a nice performance. He had the shortest set of the evening, and only performed three or four tracks due to time constraints since the concert started so late. As a member of LA's Project Blowed and the group Chillin Villain Empire, he definitely had a refined style and distinctive voice as far as hip hop goes. While his underground version of hardore gangster rap may not personally appeal to me as much as some of Project Blowed's other stuff, he never the less demonstrated that he was a veteran rapper with a strong voice and flow. Once Trey Loc finished up, Awol One came out as the headliner and put on a pretty damn good show. He was the person I came to see and was definitely the most original and creative rapper out of the acts that performed, with a very distintive low bass in his voice and plenty of oddbal topics and humorous lyrics. He kicked his set off by playing a bizarre children's song about vampires, and then got into a number of great tracks like "Sleepin All Day," "Old Babies" and "Rhythm." At one point in his set he poked fun at Sage Francis, and then did his own variation of "spoken word poetry" which consisted of a random and hilarious improvised tangent about going to get eggs for breakfast instead of waffles. Trey Loc also joined Awol for one collaborative track, "She Dances Wicked," which worked very well and was quite danceable too. Thankfully, Awol One's set was longer than all of the other set times combined, which sort of made up for the poor quality of the opening acts. Awol's style is perhaps not that concert-oriented when all's said and done, since a lot of his stuff is headphone listening material, but he never the less put on a good show that got better as it went along. Good set from Awol, decent show overall.

The news cameras swerve away from a shadowed area of CheerMynx’s otherwise bright and colorful bedroom HQ, shifting their focus to the odd décor scattered around the cheerline’s quarters. Pens of various shapes and sizes hang from the ceiling on strings, only the pens don’t seem to be made of any typical calligraphic material… in fact, they seem to be composed of calligraphy itself. The hanging sketches of pens still seem material enough, swaying when the cameras pass by and occasionally getting caught in a careless troglyodyte news man’s scales. The cameras work their way through the dangling pen decorations until they reach Wyvern, who is seated on CheerMynx’s bed next to a small sketched penthouse no larger than a doll house. The overgrown lizard adjusts the sketched suite and tie on his scales, which cover little of his upper torso given the hollow center of the sketches, then turns to the cameras. “Greetingsss, and welcome to another ep of the Almossst Report – the sketchiest show on the Pen sssince Signe’s Whipped Cream Hour.” Wyvern brushes the scales back on his head instinctively after mentioning Signe’s name, then clears his throat and points a claw at the intricately drawn tiny mansion at his side. “We’re reporting to you live adjacent to the mystic Pen’s quarters in the hopes of belatedly honoring Mardrax’s birthday. The mysterious Pen was a creation of Mardrax after all… or wasss Mardrax a creation of the mysterious Pen? Nobody knowsss for sure...” Wyvern hisses and pulls out a tome entitled “The Chicken or the Pen?”, which depicts a pen hatching out of an egg and Mardrax photoshopped into an outlandish chicken outfit on the cover. Wyvern turns the book over so the cameras can get a decent shot of the exuberant price tag, the Almost Dragonic Brand Philosloppical Publishing™ icon, and the blurb from Zool’s rubber chicken on the back. “Thessse answers n’more in this neat little compendium, only 250 geld cheap. C’mon, it’sss worth it for the expression of Mardrax’s face on the cover alone.” Wyvern snickers and tosses the book onto one of CheerMynx’s pillows, then motions towards the mystic Pen’s professionally drawn mansion. The cameras get a clear shot of the scribbled construction, though they’re unable to make out the ink pool and stencil resting case of the interior. Wyvern taps the sketched roof of the manor and stretches his wings in the background. “The mysssteries of The Pen’s abilitiesss are also up for debate, of courssse. How do it’s drawingsss materialize? What drives it to sketch such elaborate objectsss? Would it be open to endorsing Almost Dragonic Brand Sickly Squid Ink™?” Wyvern clears his throat and pulls out another book, this one titled “Envious of Pens” and showing a gigantic pen dressed in loose denim trousers on the cover. He flips it over to show the exuberant price tag, Almost Dragonic Brand Philosloppical Publishing™ icon, and Quillbearer book club seal on the back. “Thisss lil’ tome should fill in a bunch of the blanksss for you in our trademark semi-philosloppical manner. Only 250 geld, cheap.” Wyvern strikes a toothy grin and holds the book up next to his face in a classic salesman pose. “Ssspeaking of which, be sure to fill in the blanks in the latessst Mighty Pen Madlib if you haven’t done so yet. Only 110 geld. Cheap.” With that, Wyvern tosses the book next to “The Chicken or the Pen” and stretches out on CheerMynx’s bed with a sigh. He motions to the cameras to turn away as he takes a giant whiff of one of the cheerline’s pillows, trying to see if he can detect a scent…

Wyvern struts into the Cabaret Room waving a new Mighty Pen madlib sheet in one claw while holding a pitcher of Bruteweiser in the other. The overgrown lizard sets the sheet down on a Cabaret counter along with some plastic cups for folks who want a drink, then begins guzzling the booze straight from the pitcher in a typical greedy manner... Here's a new Mighty Pen Madlib for folks to sink their teeth into. This one seems like it could be pretty promising, here's hoping it turns out good! For those who've never participated before but would like to, instructions for Mghty Pen Madlibs can be found in the first post on the first page of this thread. 1) Name of Female Pennite 2) An Object 3) Verb, ending in “ing” 4) Adverb 5) Noun 6) Adjective 7) A Number Name of Male Pennite 9) Adverb 10) Adjective 11) Type of Laugh 12) Adjective 13) Adverb 14) Plural Noun 15) Part of Body 16) Adverb 17) A Color 18) Verb, Past Tense 19) Plural Noun 20) Verb

The news cameras slowly fade in to a visual of a quaint lounge area that looks suspiciously similar to a refurnished section of the Cabaret Room. The oval table at the center of the lounge is loaded with stacks of open novels that surround a large typewriter, and a set of walls that look suspiciously similar to painted sections of large cardboard boxes stand tilted in the background. Various pictures of Tralla are tacked to the “walls” along with photocopied college degrees and veterinary certificates. A lump of crimson scales sticks from under the lounge’s padded couch, looking suspiciously similar to a certain reptilian reporter’s rear. Wyvern pulls himself from his crouching position with some effort, grunting and patting down the ruffled scales on his head. He adjusts the brown news hound trench coat that covers his wings and looks at the cameras… somewhat suspiciously, for continuity’s sake. “Greetingssss, and welcome to another episode of the Almost Report.” Wyvern clears his throat and tries to break the suspicious atmosphere by flashing a wide grin of razor sharp teeth and spreading his arms in a genial manner. His tail swooshes behind him, swatting an off-camera cardboard cut-out to his right and triggering a domino effect of cardboard backdrops collapsing. Wyvern sighs as the rest of the Cabaret Room becomes visible along with various cameramen and sound troglyodytes: He slowly shrugs, then hisses: “We’re reporting to you live from Tralla’sss Pen quarters, or rather what we asssume Tralla’s quarters might look like since she’sss insisted that she has no actual Pen quarters to speak of. We just decided to gather a bunch of her Pen works together and construct what we assume a Tralla-friendly lounge would be like.” Wyvern waves a claw in the air to accentuate the statement, then coughs a little. “Noticcce the Almost Dragonic Brand Wyvern Worshipping Shrine™ to the left *ahem.* A happy belated to you, Tralla.” Wyvern snorts, then claps his claws together and begins rummaging through documents and searching under pieces of furniture again. The overgrown lizard tacks the occasional sheet of scribbles onto his horns and tail stinger, though the disappointed look on his snout seems to suggest that his hunt is not going so smoothly. “Another reassson we’re here is to ssseek out the ever-elusive conclusion to Tralla’s popular tale ‘The Gift of Fear’ in an Almost Report exxxxclussive. Show ratingsss have stooped to an all-time low, and I figure there’sss nothing like a big fat exclusssive to kick the funding gearsss back into motion.” Wyvern pauses for a moment to glance under a tiny tome labeled “Narcissism,” only to curse at the lack of goodies there. “Ssspeaking of funding, I wanna remind folks that the Pen is currently raising money to pay for its yearly hosting fees via the Mighty Pen Fundraiser. No one is required to donate anything, but should you feel in the giving mood, you can contribute by clicking on the ‘Paypal Donate’ button on the upper-right-hand corner of the ssscreen and can donate as much as you want. All donationsss are greatly appreciated!” Wyvern nods, then brushes some stray sheets from his overcoat and wanders up to the fallen cardboard walls, searching for secret cardboard compartments that might contain cardboard vaults. “Of courssse, in addition to the ‘Gift of Fear’ exclusssive, we’re also continuing to keep our eyes peeled for any signs of CheerMynx fur.” Wyvern scrapes his claws along the cardboard cut-outs in the hopes of picking up something, leaving a set of distinctive scratch marks in the process. “I suppossse we’ll have to get some news peeps checking out the unexpected barbeque as well, I heard there were sssome interesting new pennites arriving there…” “Uhhh, Wyvern?” A troglyodyte steps onto the scene with something cupped in his webbed fingers. “We found some fur.” Wyvern perks his head up and jumps to his feet, an excited gleam in his beady eyes. He raises a claw triumphantly, only to suddenly go glum as he takes a look at the white and brown fur that the troglyodyte has collected. “No nooo, I sssaid orange and black fur, didn’t you get that? That’s just that Almost Dragonic Brand Shredded Innocent Kitten Fur™ that we sprinkled around this area to give the impression that Tralla’s cat had been shedding.” Wyvern shakes his head and grumbles, then goes back to searching the cardboard ruins of the set piece, still one exciting news exclusive short…

I like this poem, Kikuyu. :-) The personal details and the feelings associated to them make this piece feel intimate, and the way that you tie the turn of events together with the hour is very well done. I also like how you tap into the twin element with "I see her sitting across from me/With my face," and how the guy who interrupts the moment isn't demonized (though the annoyance shines through in the line "Wasn't he leaving?"). Anyway, cool poem once again Kikuyu, thanks for sharing it. :-)

Today, I went and saw a free performance from the group Restiform Bodies at Amoeba Records in Berkeley. I wasn't overly excited about seeing the group since I haven't really been into any of Anticon's newer artists for a couple of years now, but the Restiform Bodies have been around for a while so I figured it would be worth checking them out for free. There was a small turn-out to the event, but they still performed for a solid twenty minutes or so. I found their music technically well put together, with some very abstract beats and half-rapped half-sung cadences, but overall I found the set a bit dull and thought their showmanship was lacking. The producer of the group was not bad on the live sampler, but the rapper Passage seemed like a slightly generic spin-off of Anticon's flagship artists. Not a great show, but not bad for a freebie overall.

So lately, I've been laying off my nightly movie watching in order to catch up on a few anime series that I've been missing out on. It started when a friend of mine convinced me to check out "Trigun," and I've worked my way through a couple more series since then. Here are some of my thoughts: "Trigun" - A great series, partially responsible for my recent trend of anime binging. It's loaded with redundantly over-the-top battles and the animation is not very good, but the series is saved through its extra-cool protagonists and its interesting mixtures of comedy and drama. Vash the Stampede is definitely a shoe-in for one of the most likeable anime heroes I've seen to date, and Meryl, Wolfwood, and Millie are all excellent supporting characters that really make the series a pleasure to watch. I also like how the series begins on a very comical note and then merges into something far more serious and dramatic in the second half... it allowed for a broad range of hilarious and heartwrenching moments, both of which I found effective. I wasn't quite as big a fan of the villains in the series, as Knives is introduced a bit late and doesn't have enough of a presence while Legatto and the Gun-Ho Guns felt kinda stereotypical to me. I also think they could have used a bit more space to tie up the relationships between characters at the end of the series, but overall I certainly can't complain as the interactions between the main characters were a big highlight of the anime. I'd certainly recommend this series, overall (and yes, I liked the lil' cat that randomly showed up in every episode). "Wolf's Rain" - I was a little skeptical of this series when I started to watch it, with the premise of wolves as the main characters not immediately settling well, but I must say that I loved it in the end and think it's one of the finest examples of mature anime in recent memory. This show has a ton of admirable qualities that I could gush over... the wide cast of characters, comprised of both humans and wolves (who, for the most part, disguise themselves as humans anyway), is brilliant and very well-developed. The interactions between the various characters and the ways that they change and grow over the series is excellent, and there are a number of seriously dramatic scenes scattered throughout it. The story and setting of the anime are also interesting, incorporating futuristic science fiction woven together with strange mythology and story arches of love and loss. And if the characters and story weren't enough, "Wolf's Rain" also has excellent animation and great music, combining the talent of Bones (the studio that animated "Cowboy Bebop" amongst other things) with the music of Yoko Kanno ("Ghost in the Shell," etc.) to great effect. It's a very sad series, with the second-to-last episode squeezing more tears out of me than any anime I can remember. If you like your anime dramatic with lots of great characters than this is definitely one to check. Highly recommended. "Gungrave" - This anime... kinda sucked. I'm actually sorta surprised that I stuck with it all the way to the end. Maybe it's because I trusted that the guy who directed "Trigun" would make a better series than this, or maybe it's just because I'm a complete-ist and refuse to label a series as "bad" until I watch the whole thing. Anyway, "Gungrave" is part mafia crime-drama and part Dragonball Z style battle-fest, and neither of the styles really works. The crime drama was the better part of the anime, but never really engaged me with its characters or relationships. The friendship between Brandon Heat and Harry McDowell was likeable enough, but the character of Maria was an incredibly annoying "good housewife" stereotype that had me rooting for her demise. The extremely over-the-top battles are where this series really went off the deep end, though... they could have set up something dramatic between Brandon and the people who betrayed him, but instead all of the characters we've followed over the course of the series randomly turn into super-mutants and start blowing up cities, etc. Unforgiveable. The one thing I will give this series credit for is a nice twist in the last episode, but I'd say two thumbs down to this one overall. "Elfen Lied" - I found this anime decent, but think that it's a bit overrated. The first episode definitely captured my interest with its graphic violence/nudity, edgy dialogue and oddly hilarious comic timing. I really enjoyed how they continued incorporating these edgy qualities throughout the series, and think that they set it apart from a lot of other anime. The animation was also great and the story was nicely woven, but I couldn't help but feel that the characters did little more than drive the plot. The dramatic moment between Lucy and Koutu at the end of the series didn't have the emotional impact I felt it should have had for this reason, though neither of them were dislikeable characters or anything. I don't know, the series was short and I guess there's only so much you can do in the span of 14 episodes, but I did feel that it was a bit lacking in the character development department. The tone and edgy approach of the series are too original to dismiss it outright, though... I'd probably give it about three stars in the end.

The news cameras flicker on to an extreme close-up of the word “Dungeon,” which spans the entirety of the screen with its menacing insinuations despite the fancy cursive font that the word is written in. The cameras pan out enough to read the word “Polite” written in front of “Dungeon,” then turn away from the fancy gilded sign to get a wide shot of what appears to be a comfortable-looking penthouse suite. The fine leather couches and curtains of the quarters are complimented by a set of long massage tables resting in the corner, complete with supplementary pillows and massage robes. Mugs of hot chocolate are also made readily available at several chair-side counters, which only adds to the very un-dungeon-like atmosphere of the room. The news cameras turn slightly to focus on Wyvern, who steps onto the scene wearing a faded T-shirt too tight for his scales and a friendship bracelet “shackle” on each wrist. The deteriorated words “Prisoner” and “Peredhil” can be made out on Wyvern’s shirt as he licks a bit of leftover whipped cream from his claws and turns towards the cameras. “Guessss we musta hit the wrong spot.” Wyvern stares up at the ceiling with a disappointed snort, then grumbles and stares at the camera lenses. “Greetingsss, and welcome to the latest Almost Report. We were intending to broadcassst to you live from Peredhil’sss hot stripper party this week, but I guesss this polite dungeon will just have to do for now *grumble*… a happy birthday to Peredhil once again from us at the Report, by the way. Be sure to place your bidsss on his Almost Dragonic Brand Scribble Portrait™ in the Cabaret if you haven’t done so yet, and don’t forget that 0.0000005% of the bid goesss to charity.” Wyvern nods to the cameras with a deep hiss, then signals to two groups of troglyodytes to start searching the area for any signs of orange and black fur. The overgrown lizard moves over to a comfy leather chair adjacent to a massage table and slumps into it, scratching the leather with his scales and drooping his wings over the armrests. The reptilian reporter tilts his neck back and rests for a long moment, then finally hisses: “In current Pen newsss, the gelding season has officially extended beyond almost dragonsss this month as the Mighty Pen’s latest fundraissser is now underway.” Wyvern glances left and right, then pulls out an Almost Dragonic Brand Pen Donation Button Boobytrap™ and sets it so it’s properly camoflauged on the dungeon massage table. “The fundraising goal for thisss fundraiser is $160.00, all of which goes towards the hosting of the Pen site. Anyone who wishes to donate to the Pen can do so by clicking the ‘Paypal Donate’ button at the upper-righthand side of the screen and donating as much as you like. The Pen is a free site of course and no one is required to donate a thing, but we’re alwaysss appreciative of anything you can spare! We’ll keep you updated on the status of the fundraiser up until its December deadline, ssso stay tuned.” Wyvern mumbles something about petitioning for an Almost Dragonic Scheme Donation Button one of these days, then shifts in his seat to the sound of ripping leather. He raps his claws on the side of a massage table for a moment, then scratches his chin and hisses: “I supposssse as long as we’re reporting in these quarters, I might as well plug the latessst in Almost Dragonic Brand Torture Technology.” Wyvern winks to the cameras, then scrunches his snout as he digs into a sack at his side and pulls out a small tray with a large wooden mallet attached to it. “Thisss Almost Dragonic Brand Butter Bludgeoner™ is perfect for those who prefer their creamsss clobbered rather than whipped. The bessst part is, they won’t even realize it’sss a torture device until they tassste the final product! No troll housewife should be in the kitchen/slaughterhouse without thisss appliance.” Wyvern holds up the simplistic device for the cameras to get a better look, then pauses as a troglyodyte searching for fur traces begins inspecting under the chair where he sits. “Ssspeaking of great cooking, a belated happy birthday alssso goes out to Lady Celes Crusador. Long absssent but not forgotten.” Wyvern shuffles out of his seat as two more troglyodytes step into the range of the cameras in search of fur. “Now, if you’ll excussse me, I’ve got a bit of cheerline sssearching of my own to do.” Wyvern turns to wander away from the cameras as more troglyodytes start filling the screen, only to pause to glance down at the “shackles” on his wrists for a moment. “Hrmph! Come to think of it, thessse ‘bonds’ of love and trussst ain’t nearly as strong as I remember’em being…” With that, a troglyodyte steps in front of the central camera lens to inspect it for fur, effectively blacking out the Report.

Two majestic high beam lights power on from the ceiling of the Cabaret Room, lit and handled by expert troglyodyte technicians from the Almost Report. The lights swerve around the Cabaret Room and interrupt several quiet conversations and coffee sippers before eventually turning to focus on what appears to be a tall cardboard box that's been set up as a podium at the far end of the room. A claw finds its way to the top of the box and sets an unstable mic there, tapping it and causing a very loud screech of distortion that makes everyone in attendance clutch their ears in unison. Wyvern pokes his head up once the distortion has passed, then lets out a nervous laugh and hisses: "Bab- errr, Ladies and dudes. I'm gonna try n'keep this little announcement as polite as possible given the nature of the event. So if you can't hang with that, buzz off!" Wyvern snorts and spits a bit of ash onto the Cabaret carpet, then glances down at the black clump and sheepishly shifts it to the side with his tail stinger. "*Ahem* I'd like to take a moment to hossst a special gift auction here, for a certain ssspecial occasion that many of you may be aware of. And if you ain't, feel free to buzz off! Errr, I mean buzz off please." Wyvern circles a claw in the air, and two of his news crew henchmen pull a sheet from the Cabaret wall, revealing a large messily doodled portrait. Though the details of the portrait are somewhat sketchy at best, two large guinea pigs can be made out holding two elves on their shoulders, while a taller and more elegant silhouette of an elf can be made out in the background. "Thisss priceless Almost Dragonic Brand Scribble Portrait™, entitled 'Of Elves and the Pigs of Guinea,' isss now up for bids with a special condition." Wyvern pauses for dramatic effect, almost causing the mic to shriek again. "The condition being that the winner of the bidding mussst give the portrait to Peredhil as a birthday gift. If this special element of the bidding bothers you, buzz off! Pleassse." With that, Wyvern presses his claws together and waits for bids, muttering something under his breath about all proceeds going to Almost Report location funding... ;-) OOC: Happy Birthday, Peredhil. Thank you for giving so many people something to believe in at the Pen over the years.

I went and saw two free in-store performances this evening by People Under the Stairs and Murs. They performed at Amoeba Records and Rasputin's Records respectively, which are literally a block away from each other on the same street in Berkeley! I wasn't sure if the timing of these two events would give me the opportunity to see them both, so I decided to give the priority to People Under the Stairs since I've seen Murs many times before but have only seen PUTS once in concert. There was a fairly good turn out to the event, though there was no Amoeba employee to introduce the People Under the Stairs and the crowd was pretty silent when they first got on stage... PUTS even cracked a joke about how it reminded them of a high school assembly meeting, hahaha. Anyway, People Under the Stairs rocked it well during their short set, with Thes One and Double K trading some skillful and passionate verses over their trademark funky beats. They performed a few tracks off their new album "Fun DMC," and a few of their classics like "Acid Raindrops" and "San Francisco Knights." They also brought out the talented Shawn Jackson as a guest, who kicked a verse and then got into a pretty hilarious freestyle session between him and Thes One. Their upbeat energy eventually got the crowd chanting along and having fun, and it was definitely a good show overall. After the People Under the Stairs show had finished, I decided to walk over to Rasputin's to see if I could make it to the Murs in-store as well. Sure enough, I got there with plenty of time to spare. Rasputin's Records really filled out before Murs came on to perform, in fact I would say that it was more packed than I've ever seen it before, with the aisles and front area of the store sardined with excited fans. Unfortunately, Rasputin's really blew it as the Murs in-store ended up being pretty disasterous! Murs' mic was fuzzy from the get-go and the sound system lasted for about one song before completely malfunctioning, which resulted in practically no songs being performed. Murs was cool about it and just ended up turning his in-store into a Q&A session between him and random people in the crowd, but another problem with the set-up was that he was speaking from an elevated platform rather than the regular Rasputin's stage, which limited the interactions with the fans a bit. Overall, it was a failed in-store and a bad look for Rasputin's, since Murs' in-store at Amoeba a year or two ago was great.

Wyvern, who was still swooning a bit from the luck of Degorram's earlier kiss, froze and went bug-eyed as he watched the results of Kikuyu's spin. The reptilian Elder frantically dug through his belt and sack without taking his eyes off of Kikuyu and Degorram, only to curse inwardly at his lack of Almost Dragonic Brand Ultra-Disposable Cameras™ in this time of need. The overgrown lizard's eyes widened further as the two sisters leaned towards one another in a sensual manner, and his tongue hung loose as they began to move in for a kiss... "EWWWWWW!" Minta's voice shrieked out in the background. "COOTIES!" The various barbecue guests sitting in the circle glanced at one another for a moment with uncertain frowns. They slowly shifted and then began scrambling away from each other at a rapid pace, the fear of contractible cooties written in their eyes and unpuckered lips. The entire "Spin the Bruteweiser Bottle" circle splintered off in all directions, effectively ending the game and leaving Degorram and Kikuyu relieved of their kissing duties... and Wyvern disappointed. "Wh-what? Awww c'moooon!" Wyvern hissed as Kikuyu and Degorram backed out of their sensual kissing position. "No fair! It'ssss still yer turn, Kikuyu, now let's make it-" Wyvern paused as Kikuyu and Degorram stared at him with penetrating eyes. He slinked back and finally managed to squeak: "... count?"

The news cameras power on to focus on complete darkness, which is promptly lifted as several stray raven feathers fall from the camera lenses to give a full view of a pennite’s intricately arranged quarters. Necromantic tomes and old tattered spell parchments lay strewn around an old oaken table near a loaded bookshelf, which seems to be brimming with literature on the mythos of Aves. A gray skull with horns rests next to several burning candles in the corner, and what appears to be a black backdrop for photo shoots rests between two small raven statues. The cameras pan around the elegant furniture of the chamber until they reach Wyvern, who appears less-than-elegant in his odd attire to say the least. The reptilian reporter’s purple suit with its wilted rose might have passed for something comically formal were it not for the messy clumps of straw packed beneath it, which cling to his scales and horns through pieces of cheap tape. The overgrown lizard casually lifts a claw in greeting before turning to the cameras and hissing: “Good evening, and welcome to yet another episssode of the Almost Report.” Wyvern wanders up to one of the raven statues near the chamber’s photo shoot area and pauses. Stray grains of straw shed onto the necromantic symbols of the room’s carpet as Wyvern’s tail flicks back and forth. “Tonight, we take you deep into the recesssses of cryptomancer’sss Pen workshop in a belatedly celebration of the necro-raven’s birthday. Besssides, we figure this might be a good ssspot to sssearch for clues concerning CheerMynx’s whereabouts. I mean, not that I’m worried or anything. I mean I’m far too handsssome for her to vanish for good, right? I mean, I’m ssssure she’ll turn up eventua-“ “Nevermore!” Wyvern frowns and turns his snout at the sound of the voice, only to find a troglyodyte dressed in a black robe of feathers and wearing a dark beak mask on his face. Wyvern raises a claw to his forehead and sighs. “Go figure… I had thisss scarecrow armor specifically tailored to fend off birds, and look at what I get.” Wyvern glares at the troglyodyte in costume, then grumbles and scratches beneath the itchy clumps of straw at his scales. “Remind me never to go for a ssscarecrow look again.” “Nevermore!” Wyvern rolls his eyes at the troglyodyte and moves over to inspect the skull surrounded by candles in the corner. He frowns at the lack of orange and black fur traces in the area, and contemplates whether the skull had previously belonged to one of his brethren before turning back towards the cameras. “Anyway, as I mentioned before, a happy belated birthday to you cryptomancer! Here’sss hopin you had a great one.” Wyvern digs into a particularly large clump of straw taped to his wings and pulls out a small black circle with a bright gift bow attached to it. He sets the flat object down on the cluttered oaken table and strikes a toothy grin. “Hope you enjoy thisss Almost Dragonic Brand Lightly Cursed Witch Lens™ for cameras. A different enchantment for every photo, which kinda makes up for the blurry quality. Witch cauldron development studio not included, but we do guarantee less camera spell malfunctionsss.” “Nevermore!” “Yeah, what he sssaid.” Wyvern cocks a claw back at the raven troglyodyte for a moment, then shakes his head and sets about scanning the quarters for any objects bearing a resemblance to a pompom. “I’d alssso like to take a moment to ultra-belatedly wish Sir Walnut Reginald what’shisname a happy birthday. Here’s hoping ya had a great one, and that you have many more to-“ “Nevermore!” “No no, many more.” Wyvern stares down at the troglyodyte and sighs, then lowers claw over the beak of the costume and signals to the cameras. “Cut! Why don’t ya camera folksss make yerself useful and get to searching for clues like the ressst of the crew, we got a long night ahead of usss…”

I like this poem, Degorram. :-) The rhyme scheme works very well throughout it, and the concepts evoked through the language of the poem were often intriguing. I particularly liked the notion that Peace's sons are in fact the "children of disaster," as well as the way that you end the poem with none of the personified concepts being able to grasp life as a whole. As far as possible things to improve on go, the third stanza of the poem was not as strong as the others to me, partially because the syllable count in the third line of that stanza wasn't as smooth as the others and partially because the "elf" image felt a little odd to me since it was the only fantasy reference in the piece... you might consider revisiting that little segment of the poem should you ever choose to revise it. Anyway, very nice poem Dego. :-) Thanks for sharing it here, as always!

These poems are cool so far, Patrick. :-) Nice observations of the subway train and its urban inhabitants, plus I really like the way you draw personal connections to the pictures you paint with the questions that end the first two poems (the ending of the first one resonated to me in particular). The conclusion of the third poem also worked well, with its emphasis on social dynamics... not as personal as the other two, but just as good if not better. Thanks for posting these here, Patrick. :-) Here's hoping there'll be more where that came from.

This is a rather belated review, but I saw "Burn After Reading" in theaters recently and kinda loved it! I found it more enjoyable than "No Country for Old Men" overall, and think that the Coens are at their best when handling more light-hearted comic affairs. Though then again, "light-hearted" might not be the right adjective to capture the borderline tragic humor depicted throughout this film. One very admirable quality of "Burn After Reading" is the cast, who are all terrific and really bring the quirky Coen characters to life. George Clooney plays a neurotic and slightly paranoid womanizer and bodyguard in one of the best performances I've seen from him in a while, John Malkovich plays a disgruntled ex-CIA agent and really conveys the frustration of being one of the only intelligent characters in the film well, Tilda Swinton plays the ex-CIA man's wife with a brilliantly cold and calculated demeanor, and Frances McDormand plays a down-to-earth homely gym employee with her typical charm. While all of the actors are great, Brad Pitt may have been a bit of a show stealer in the end with his awesome and almost cartoon-ish portrayal of a complete and utter buffoon... think over-enthusiastic iPod-jocking gym instructor who is hilariously naive. JK Simmons and David Rasche also deserve credit for their brief exchanges as CIA agents trying to figure out the increasingly complicated situation between the characters, as their deadpan expressions and timing got quite a bit of laughter out of me. All in all, the characters are quirky and original, the acting is great, the plot has plenty of odd twists to keep you interested and the humor is dark and sophisticated. Definitely a high-grade movie in my book, well worth seeing. Anyway, next film on my must-see list is Charlie Kaufman's "Synecdoche, New York" next month. A movie about a playwright who constructs a replica of downtown Manhattan in a warehouse in Manhattan, which includes a replica of the warehouse which includes another replica of Manhattan in it and so forth? And multiple actors getting hired to play the role of the playwright himself in each of the different Manhattans? Apparently, this film's so ambitious that it's pissed quite a few early film critics off with its extremely complicated and layered metaphors... sounds exciting! Plus, it stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman! Wooooo...

The cameras flicker on to the cacophonous sounds of clanging metal, which ram away in the background like a long wall of hollow armor clashing down in sync. The cameras wobble unsteadily to the (lack of) beat until they spot the sound troglyodyte in charge of wielding the set of iron frying pans that are producing the noise. The troglyo-gaffer turns at the sight of the cameras and signals to someone off-screen, then drops the frying pans with a headache-inducing clatter and almost bumps his head on the exceptionally low ceiling of the quarters. The cameras watch the troglyodyte hobble through a cramped doorway, then turn to catch a glimpse of the homely orcish bludgeoning table and miniature war hammer resting near them in what appears to be a kitchen/living room area. Greasy buckets of mutton and cheap animal skin furniture give the spot a décor that might be best described as a cross between a butcher’s block and a garage sale, though the tiny size and unusual musty odor of the quarters suggest otherwise. “That wasss troglyo-deity Gurenny G with his frying pan rendition of the Almossst Report theme, belatedly played in honor of Racouol’ssss birthday.” Wyvern inches his way onto the screen, leaning forward and ducking his head so he doesn’t get his horns caught in the ceiling. The overgrown lizard adjusts the rusty viking helmet on his head and tears a piece of pork rind from his Almost Dragonic Brand Ration-al Belt™. He takes a macho bite out of the rind and sneers towards the cameras. “Greetingsss, and welcome to the Almossst Report. Reporting to you live from Norman the Runt’s quarters…” Wyvern curses as he bumps his head on the arch of a doorway despite his best efforts to crouch forward. The overgrown lizard grits his teeth and slumps onto a boar skin chair, giving his wings a little room to breath but still finding it difficult to sit up straight without his horns hitting the ceiling. “Why would we choose such a cramped orcish backdrop for our Report, you asssk?” Wyvern tilts his head to try to fight off a neck cramp. “Well, aside from the general need to show off, it jussst so happens that a certain Runt is celebrating his birthday today. And we didn’t wanna let it pass by without dropping off a lil’ surprise gift package from Almost Dragonic Inc.” Wyvern grins to the cameras and pulls out a 50% off coupon for Almost Dragonic Brand Imitation Orc Tusk Enlargers.™ He waves it in the air for a moment, then sets it down on the arm rest of the boar chair and nails it into the furniture with one of the room’s many war hammers. The overgrown lizard wipes the sweat from his scaly forehead and drops the hefty hammer down once he’s finished, then pants and lets his forked tongue hang loose. “*Pant* could sssomebody fetch me something *pant* other than water? No tipssss *pant,* but I’d appreciate it *pant* and it’d be wissse if ya wanna see full wages.” Wyvern leans forward and ducks in order to make his way over to Norman’s bludgeoning table, clattering stray frying pans with his tail as it sways back and forth across the floor. The reptilian reporter ducks further still to check for any kegs of mead under the table-top, then hisses a sigh at the lack of brew. He raises a claw to his chin as he examines an heraldic symbol of orcs crossing spears that hangs on Norman’s wall, ignoring the news crew troglyodytes that dart on and off camera in the search of a Wyvern-accessible drink. “*Ahem* In recent Pen newsss, an Unexpected Barbeque update. As I’m sure many of you pennites are already aware, Cole and Mordekai have outdone themselvesss in providing good eatsss to the pennite masses at this event. But are you aware of the sexay and ssssscandalous games currently occurring there?” Wyvern winks to the cameras and nudges one of the cameramen with a scaly elbow. “Come and join the Spin the Bruteweiser Bottle game if you’re into hot chicks, random kisses, making out, and of courssse a certain almost dragon.” Wyvern snickers and bares his teeth to accentuate the gossipy nature of it all, then turns as a troglyodyte steps into the room carrying a pitcher of something. The troglyodyte doesn’t get far, however, as he trips on a frying pan misplaced by one of Wyvern’s tail swaps and spills the pale ale over the reptilian Elder’s outfit. The news cameras move closer to get a better shot of the stain, only to suddenly come into abrupt contact with the holder end of an extra-large frying pan. The screens go black, but the clanging and cursing echo for several minutes to come…

Wyvern lifted one of the claws from his eyes and finally decided to peep at where the head of the bottle had landed. The overgrown lizard jittered nervously as he considered what Dego and Kikuyu might be thinking, though a hint of excitement found its way into his thoughts as he contemplated who the empty Bruteweiser head had landed on and what that might lead to. Would it be Kikuyu? Degorram? The tipsy-looking elf gal (less exciting)? The macho sweating half-elf guy (much less exciting)? The goblin that was licking hot dog grease from his hands (much, much less exciting)? Wyvern took a deep breath and gritted his teeth as he stared at where the bottle had landed, only to pause and go slightly blank as he found the bottle facing himself. "Hrmph... uhh, well, I guessss that's sorta easy." Wyvern licked his lips and dug beneath the wooden crate on his belt, pulling out an Almost Dragonic Brand Severed Zombie Hand Mirror™. He lifted the hand clutching the mirror until he got a clear view of his face, then stared into his own eyes and shuffled through his pockets for a breath mint with no luck. Wyvern glanced at Kikuyu and Degorram briefly with a slight blush, then took a deep breath and leaned into the mirror. He gave his reflection a tiny peck of a kiss, then stared at his reflection again and began kissing it sloppily and essentially making out with the mirror. He carried on in this manner for a long moment, much to Kikuyu and Degorram's bewilderment, only to finally break off from kissing the reflection when a green centipede living in the zombie hand crawled onto the mirror's surface. "PLEGGH! Pleh, pleh! UGH! Ugh, you're an awful kisser!" Wyvern turned his snout away with an aggravated snort and tucked the zombie hand mirror back into his belt, only to pause as he suddenly remembered where he was. The overgrown lizard raised a claw to one of his horns with a nervous laugh, then signaled to Kikuyu and Dego. "Well uhhhh, that wasss fun. Lisssten, I think we're gonna be leaving..." "Outta the question." The macho elf ring-leader sneered. "No leaving the circle until the bottle has been spun by everyone once!" Wyvern gulped and went beady-eyed, sloooowwwwly passing the bottle to Degorram on his left...

Tonight, I went and saw Johnson & Jonson (Blu & Mainframe), the Earth Tones, and Jonah & Timeless at the 111 Minna Gallery in San Francisco. I arrived to the show later than usual since my last experience at the Minna Gallery involved far too long a wait before the show started, and I was shocked to see the line for the show stretching around the block! Apparently, Blu and Jonah & Timeless are far more popular in the Bay area than I was prepared for, though it was nice to see such a great draw to an art gallery venue. On the downside it was a half-hour wait in line and the RSVP I thought I made for the show to get in for free didn't go through (plus the cover was $15, which is pretty steep for this sort of show in my book), but on the positive side of the spectrum I got in just when the performers were starting to come on. Jonah & Timeless, a live soul/hip hop fusion-type band who I'd never heard of before, were starting to perform when I entered the venue. They were surprisingly fresh and got a lot of the crowd dancing with their soulful singing and instrumentation, not to mention the occasional rock guitar hook and double-time rapping flow. While Jonah & Timeless didn't really seem to be breaking any new ground as far as soul/hip hop hybrids with live bands go, they never the less appeared to be very experienced in their craft and put on a very solid effort. Very nice way to start a show. The Earth Tones, who are part of some group called the [corny name alert] Reignforest Collective [/corny name alert], came on next. I hadn't heard of them either, and unfortunately they didn't deliver as good a set as Jonah & Timeless. The two MCs of the group seemed to be very founded in a traditional boom bap style of hip hop, which is dangerous ground to tread considering the number of groups out there who have already perfected the formula, and they ended up being pretty boring though non-offensive. At one point, in an attempt to liven up their set, they brought out a female MC by the name of Ruby to kick a few verses, but she was unfortunately rather unimpressive and didn't add anything to their performance. Kind of a "blah" set overall... I've seen it all done before, and far better. Finally, Johnson & Jonson came out as the evening's headline attraction. I should note that Blu, the main rapper of the group, was the big name advertised on the flyer and the main draw of the event... he's been making some pretty big moves lately and is being acclaimed by many as one of the best new rappers to appear on the hip hop circuit. Anyway, Blu and Mainframe put on a quality set, performing a number of great tracks from their brand new self-titled album like "Bout it, Bout it," "Mama Told Me," and "The Gusto Room." Blu also performed a bunch of audience fan requests from his solo record "Below the Heavens," which got quite a few enthusiastic fans in attendance hyped. He didn't perform any C.R.A.C Knuckles material, unfortunately, though it would have probably been awkward performing that stuff with the other group member Ta'Raach not around for the show. After kickin' a bunch of tracks, Blu invited two additional rapper buddies of his, Cashius King and Sene, to the stage to perform a few tracks. Cashius King was very good, with a nice cadence and some really great beats to rap over. Sene was a bit annoying, however, and was definitely the worst performer out of that bunch... he seemed very cocky in his approach to trying to hype the crowd, and simply didn't stand up to Blu or Cashius King in the skills department. Never the less, it was a very good set overall and Jonah & Timeless came back on at the end to freestyle a bit with Blu and improvise a bunch of tracks off the top of their head. Blu also had only 9 copies of the new Johnson & Jonson record for sale prior to its release date next week, and I bought one of them off him just cus' I needed some new music and I'm hip like that. ;p Nice show. Last but not least, here's some video footage of Johnson & Jonson performing the track "Mama Told Me":

Cool poem, Kikuyu. :-) I like the tone of jealousy that resonates with the line "So that they only look at me," as well as the uses of repetition and negative vocabulary. I think there's something odd about the way that the "Do not stare" lines follow the "So that they only look at me" line, perhaps because they seem to suggest that the narrator wants the second-person of the poem to stare at her and not stare at all simultaneously... it's an interesting pairing though. Thanks for sharing this, Kikuyu. Wyvern steps forward and offers the ninja lady a tome entitled Almost Dragonic Brand Eye Thievery in 34523 Easy Steps™.. 80 geld, cheap!

Wyvern's claw falls upon the chocolate tray at the same time as Kikuyu's kunai, with the blade narrowly missing the lizard's scales and piercing through the chocolate weenie that he was aiming for. Wyvern gulps and turns his head to face Kikuyu, gibbering a bit as he realizes that the last social occasion he'd attended with the ninja ended with him causing more than a few awkward situations. He tucks his wings behind his back a bit to mimic a semi-formal demeanor, then stares at the ground for a moment and clears his throat of a few ashes. "Uhh, h-hiya Kikuyu, niccce to see you made it to the party." Wyvern reaches for a chocolate frankfurter only to once again be trumped by Kikuyu's kunai, then goes for a chocolate hotlink with the same results. "Lissssten, I jussst wanna apologize to you and Dego for my behavior at that last party thing, the two of ya dessserve better. Can I make it up to you I <3 Wyvern Fans at this BBQ? No danccccing or groping ssstrategies or nothin', I jussst thought maybe the three of us could participate in that game goin' on over there together." Wyvern cocks a claw back at the circle of barbeque guests seated in the yard, unaware that the game being played in question was "Spin the Bruteweiser Bottle." "Can I interessst ya in one of thessse weenies by the way?" Wyvern reaches into the wooden crate hanging from his belt and pulls a clawful of sausages. He waves them in front of Kikuyu's face and tries to snatch a chocolate hot dog from the table as he does so, but once again fails to match the speed of Kikuyu's kunai. "Errr, I don't ssss'pose you might be able to ssspare a bit of chocolate for the starving Almost Dragons o the world?"

Sora sighed and tapped her fingers on the armrest of her applicant easychair, glancing up at the Office's Rolodex clock and wondering where the reptilian scoundrel of a recruiter could possibly be. Ozymandias' jumbled hip hop slang had been a comfort, but his "Yo yo Wyvern"s had turned to mere echoes as the hour had grown late, and there was still no sign of the Elder of Initiates. Sora began wondering whether it might be better to check up on Xiao and then return to the Recruiter's Office in the hopes of spotting Wyvern then, but paused as the Office window suddenly opened with a forceful shove. A crimson tail stinger found its way onto the window sill, followed by a scaly rear and finally a set of crooked wings as Wyvern tumbled into the Office in a wholly unprofessional manner. The reptilian Elder quickly hopped to his feet and dusted off the confetti still clinging to his Hawaiin party shirt, then turned to Sora Hikari and spread his arms with a very wide grin. "Ssssssoooooorrrraaaaa! So great to finally see you here, welcome to my messy lil' Office. I'm guessin you watched the infomercial then?" Wyvern raced up to Sora and gave her an overextended handshake. "Well, trussst me when I say that you won't be not (only sometimes) regretting your investment in Almost Dragonic Brand Nanotoknonnen Style Pyramid Schemes.™ Can I ssstart you off on a 300 geld plan?" "Errr, well actually, I was just here to..." "Riiight, we'll fill in your geld donation number later. Don't worry, it's a pretty ssswift climb to Quillbearer, you'll see." Wyvern winked at Sora, then snatched up her application story from the top of his crowded and rather dusty desktop. The overgrown lizard scratched his chin curiously as he glanced at the title. "By the way, if you look in the pile of paperwork at the far east end of the room over there, there should be a brochure for Almost Dragonic Brand Kimodo Kimonos™ that might interessst you. I'll only be a minute..." Wyvern grinned, then proceeded to read over Sora Hikari's application piece thoroughly. He skimmed back over a few passages with a curious glint in his beady eyes, and finished before Sora could say "Almost Dragonic Brand Kimodo Kimonos™?" "Nice ssstory you have here, Sora." Wyvern nodded and held up the application sheet with a slow motion of his claw. "Quite a bit of revealing information in here as well, posssibly even Almost Report tabloid column material. I gotta asssk, are you a long-time acquaintance of Ms. Black Paws? A long forgotten relative or old ally perhapsss? It'sss certainly intriguing stuff, either way." Sora raised a brow, uncertain of what the reptilian Elder was implying. "See, I had no idea that Kikuyu had vampire rootsss." Wyvern drummed his claws on his desktop, wondering if the "I <3 Wyvern Fan Club" was going to be requesting cold blood donations now. "I guesss that's pretty hot though... I mean, Tzim's got vamp rootsss as well and ya don't see anyone complaining when she ssstrolls into a room nekkid." "Oh." Sora raised a hand as she suddenly realized Wyvern's Kikuyu mix-up. "No no, you see the Kikuyu in this story is-" "Ya think she'sss just out for my blood? I mean, I figure us reptilesss ain't as tasty in that department, but who knowsss." Wyvern stamped Sora's application ACCEPTED, then handed it back to her along with a business card with a 1-900 crystal ball incantation scribbled on it. "Anyhoo, call me at that number and we can discusss this Kikuyu sssituation further. Thisss could be big news... just don't expect any compensation outssside of your choice of Almost Dragonic Brand Kimodo Kimono™. Now if you'll excussse me, I gotta be off." Wyvern struck a quick bow to Sora Hikari, then scrambled for the open window as Ozymandias' "YO WYVERN, WASSUP"s could be heard approaching the Office door... ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application story, Sora Hikari. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! Of course, you're hardly new here and it's been a joy writing with you and reading your stuff, but I'm glad you decided to submit something here and am looking forward to writing more with you in the future. Thanks for applying.

The news cameras flicker on, only to immediately go blurry as some kind of liquid froths over the visuals. A webbed hand reaches out to scrub off the sticky froth, clearing the lens enough to make out row upon row of wooden Bruteweiser barrels stacked in a jagged line. The shot is short-lived, however, as a lifter crane steams through the room with another barrel and knocks the camera crew to the side. The cameras swerve dizzily before landing on a visual of Wyvern, who is seated on a swiveling office chair with a straw connected to some distant beer keg sticking from his mouth. “Greetingsss, and welcome to the Almost Report’sss firssst and possibly only non-official news show. ‘Non-official’ sssimply because we’re reporting from Tyrion’sss non-Pen quarters, which is the perfect excuse to just relax and take thingsss non-officially.” Wyvern stretches and causes the desk chair to creak, spreading his wings out and blocking the view of a bookshelf. “Hence the booze, of courssse.” Wyvern closes his eyes and begins taking a sip from his extended straw, only to jump and spit his drink across the camera crew as the lifter crane drops its latest barrel with a bit more force than expected. The overgrown lizard curses and shakes a claw at the troglyodyte manning the lift, then grumbles and kneels to the ground so that he can lick up some of the spilt alcohol. “Of courssse, there’re other motivationsss for consuming large quantities of Bruteweiser over the course of this particular Report… namely Brute’s birthday, which was celebrated lassst week.” Wyvern lets the forks of his tongue hang in the puddle of booze on the floor. He sits still for a few minutes, then hiccups a tiny smoke ring. “Thossse of you not familiar with the Booze Prophet’s works should be certain to seek out his teachingsss, preferably while inebriated. Hope ya had a great one Brute, your legacy of boozin’ lives on.” Wyvern nods and slowly curls his tongue back into his mouth. He then gets back on his feet and begins pacing through Tyrion’s quarters, which have modern wooden floor tiling but are otherwise difficult to make out given the large number of giant beer barrels set against the walls and furniture. The reptilian reporter trails a claw along the walls of the miniature keg labyrinth before pausing at a barrel made out of particularly fine light brown wood. He taps on it with a claw, then pulls a copper goblet from his sack and grins at the cameras. “Of courssse, Brute is not the only pennite who celebrated a birthday last week. The Almost Report would also like to take a moment to celebrate the birthdaysss of two notable Pen elvesss.” Wyvern corks open part of the booze barrel with his tail stinger and holds his goblet at an angle to catch the Bruteweiser beer leak. “Our bessst birthday wishes go out to Elvina and Thinas, the Pen’s resident winged elf and dark elf respectively. Here’sss a toast to some of our more elegant elven talentsss.” Wyvern raises the goblet with a wink, then promptly down its contents in a single extended gulp. The overgrown lizard immediately lowers the goblet to the leak again and fills it up before toasting Elvina and Thinas once more, then repeats the process and toasts again, and again, and again. Before the news cameras know it, Wyvern is licking the remnants of spilt booze off the floor and sticking his tongue into the corked hole in an unintentionally suggestive manner certain to peeve off the parental advisory board. The reptilian Elder swoons and whines about how the barrel is empty, slapping the wood frame and slipping before sitting slumped sideways against the keg’s base. “Here’sh to Asssssssssmadeus too, just fer *hic* fun.” Wyvern lifts the goblet over his snout, only to let out a groan when he finds it dry. He places it upside down on one of his horns before continuing. “Noooww, shince thish isss a NON-OFFICIAL Almosht Report, we don’tss really gotta reportsh on anythin at all! Hahaaaah. BUT, but but but, we wantsh to offer ya some spotsh to find booooze. So csheck out the Barbeque and th-*hic* the wordplay shpot so ya can get shome taaassssssssty beveragesss.” Wyvern swoons and flicks his tongue at the camera. “Oh, and if ya *hic* sssee CheerMynxsh ‘round, could ya tell’er I love’er pleeeaaassh? Thankshabunch.” Wyvern grins dumbly and snickers to himself, then pauses for a moment to let out a little belch. The ensuing flames engulf the cameras, resulting in a black out of the news visuals.