Gyrfalcon

Overall, I liked this poem. It’s short, but it still draws on emotions of sorrow as it speaks of the growing gap between two people. I would suggest a few changes though: The third line seems a little disassociated from the first two, as he’s already ‘taken his love away’ there. Perhaps something like: “If I took your love, and gave it back” might fit better? In the final line, I’d change would to ‘won’t’. “won’t you even shed just one?” Again, I liked this poem, thank you for sharing it.

Whee, I love this Yui-chan, thank you very much. Thank you as well, Wyvern, I'm honored by both of these.

It's Friday, whee. That means tomorrow is Saturday, which is 'angry customers' day at my store. Whee. Gyrfalcon will cheer on Sunday.

Happy un-birthday, one and all! *blows out the candle on his cupcake, then emulates a friend and CONSUMES!* Mm... would have tasted better without the candle, it was a bit waxy. *The half-elf just laughs as Yui-chan helps Finnius upright* All this time, and you still do that every time you see one of Wyvern's products...

It's grey, I tell you, no matter what Word thinks it is! Greeeeeey! None of this gray idiocy. ;P

I chose to start my suggestions with the Teaser and work from there: There has always been division. There has always been strife. There has always been hatred I think you may want to remove the second always, but that leads to the sentences becoming repetitious. You might want to consider: There has always been division and strife. There has always been hatred. To the north, the mana-rich lands of the Kohlanmer are a great empire led by a duumvirate of the two most powerful of the magic wielding families. Changing masters to families from an idea I formed that the two families would work as the hands of the Primes and therefore would also share in the power. Therefore, if I'm wrong there is nothing to change. *grins* Those who hold tight to the reins of power fear the knowledge of their enemies. Changed reigns to reins. The reins of power are like reins for a horse. However a king can reign from his throne. It all depends on context. *grins* Those who hold tight to the tatters of faith fear the truths that their rivals could expose. Added an 's' to truth. Unless they have only one great secret, there are multiple damaging truths that can come out. Aaaaand.... that's it for my notes, I thought it was well written, Yui-chan. Now, onto the prologue.

Of course I'm crazy. We all are, at least a little. How interesting would a world of normal people be? Not very, I tell you!

Oy, I'm not a poet, I'm not a poet! *hides his poetry attempts from the life insurence auditors* I also don't write fiction, really! I do agree, it must have been a *very* slow day when they started that project.

Hm... the Petsmart sock puppet, a scene from any of the commercials ("It's a thing, a wonderful THING!"), composed out of varicolored socks. Oh wait, famous artist... That'll be tougher. Vincent Van Gogh, Green Wheat Field http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/gogh/...wheat-field.jpg ink. *grins*

Konnichiwa, Madoka-san. It's good to see you back here after so long. I hope your life has been going well since last you came here.

Whoa, teaches me to look at the Cabaret Room just a bit harder! I likewise Accept my nomination.

Mmm... no. I liked it!

Happy post-birthday, Gwaihir! Sorry it took me so long to respond, so I hope that you enjoyed your birthday and sleep well.

Gyrfalcon studied Myth carefully as he considered her words. Over the course of their journey, he and the assassin had talked rarely, only enough to execute necessary tasks aboard the ship and elsewhere. Her approaching him for employment was surprising, to say the least. The half-elf rubbed his wounded arm absently as he contemplated Myth, considering her proposal in light of the needs of New Muriska, and the possible reasons she would approach him with this proposal. The half-elf was quite interested, knowing that New Muriska’s spy network, such as it was, consisted more of military scouts near the borders of his lands to give forewarning of pending attacks then a true network of spies who could ferret out hidden alliances and secrets and give warning of moves made against New Muriska that had nothing to do with force of arms... But what was in it for Myth? She offered him much, especially if she was an excellent teacher... but what could she gain from this association? Gyrfalcon had always had the sense she was a loner, and that type never tied themselves down too far. He glanced over the side of the ship, watching the open sea framed by the harbor mouth. “What exactly do you have to gain from this, Myth? I would gain an excellent spy network, as you pointed out, but you never spoke of what you would gain from me in return.” The half-elf said softly. Myth studied him for a long while in return, weighing her options and deciding how much of the truth she could get away with not telling. “I will find that, once we return, the employer who sent me on this mission will be quite unhappy with me for failing in my mission. I do not believe I will find my normal base of operations safe, and thus I must establish a new one. You offer me two things- a place to build again and the resources to do so, and also the safety, at least for a short while, of your own power. While my former employer is quite powerful in some circles, I very much doubt he would tempt your wrath until he knew all about you... and by that time, you’ll know all about him, through my services.” Gyrfalcon restrained a slight smile, as that was quite possibly the most Myth had said to anyone since she had joined their ill-fated quest. “I will admit that your offer is quite tempting, but I request time to think about it. You might want to consider how much in the way of compensation you are asking for, as that was something else you hadn’t mentioned yet.” he said. Myth bowed her head slightly and moved away, unable to restrain a small smirk as she turned her back on the elf. Despite the ambiguity of his comment, the fact he wanted to discuss pay rather then reject her offer outright reassured her that he would likely hire her. She might have to sweeten the pot a little more to get him to accept her price, but she was sure an arrangement could be worked out. Gyrfalcon watched Myth silently slip across the deck, blending to the sparse shadows as best as she could in the bright sun that graced the island, brighter still after the gloom of the caverns below the Temple of Isaiis. He shook his head and turned to look out over the bay, his thoughts flickering across his companions, from the dead Y’Tren to the horribly wounded Timothy and Elena to Kaleyra, perhaps no less wounded, her hopes shattered by the loss of the Pool of Eternal Reflection. Gyrfalcon leaned against the rail with a heavy sigh, considering his own hopes. He had hoped the Pool of Eternal Reflection would have granted him the wisdom he thought necessary to keep New Muriska clear of the growing wars that were erupting among the mage-lead kingdoms. The half-elf felt the sting of failure as well, though he knew that he most likely wouldn’t have been able to use the knowledge the Pool might have provided, and its sealing prevented Jagon from destroying the world. But like the others, he had hoped to use the Pool to his own ends, however noble they might have been, and his quest had failed. The half-elf sighed and pushed those thoughts aside for later before starting slowly down the deck to where the wounded were being tended to check up on Timothy and Elena again.

Happy Birthday, Tam, hope to see you around more often!

That sounds horrible. *shudder*

I already sang to you on IRC, so all I have to say is happy birthday, lizard breath.

Gyrfalcon and Daryl troop in and sign their names on the sheet with a slash between them. "Alright, we're willing to take a shot at it too! You can choose to enter this play as Gyrfalcon OR as Daryl. I can be found on ICQ, IRC, PMs, e-mail... lots of places." "Go for it!" Daryl joyfully yips before pouncing at Alaeha!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you two, Happy Birthday Merelas and Stale, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you Stale, and to you even more Merelas.

Glee!

Happy Birthday, Zadown-y one.

Happy Birthday Aegon. Just so you know, Daryl contributed a lot of help in acquiring that thing.

Annael, you're a leapchild? Well, congratulations on your birthday, and beware the fox, he mentioned something about a 'gift', and with a grin like his, you just can't trust him. Happy birthday to Zen as well.

It reminds me of a head-on view of a cow skull, for some reason, mostly the pattern of shadows.

Seeing as its hard to find you awake enough to catch at night on ICQ, I'll say it here: GOOOOOO SALINYE! Congratulations, I know your workload just about doubled, but its towards a good cause.